


Finding the Honey

by FiveLeafClover



Category: Casualty (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Poisoning, Drinking, Ethan's ridiculously bad at romance, F/M, it's rather hilarious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-19 20:37:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 28,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14880806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiveLeafClover/pseuds/FiveLeafClover
Summary: Honey returns to Holby, and Ethan is keen to rekindle the flame between them. Yet there's no such thing as a perfect relationship, and everything soon spirals out of control. TW: Mentions of abuse in Chapter 16 and onward.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [backdated fic, originally posted on fanfiction/net under the username InfinityAndOne, posted here 08/06/18]
> 
> Hello! Just a little warning before you read on, I'm not good with relationship love stuff- seriously, I am awful at all of that! So, I'm not sure about this, but I've tried my best! May I ask you something, though? Please leave a review telling me what you thought! This will be updated every Tuesday. Anyway, it shall commence.

Honey hadn't told her father she was returning to Holby, and couldn't wait to see his reaction. She knew it wouldn't be like the initial shock Noel had first experienced when he was standing face to face with his long lost daughter. No, this shock, Honey hoped, would be a happy sort of shock. Her and her father had talked a lot after she left for Manchester, and Noel had visited her a couple of times. He never wanted to let her go. They'd been reunited, and Noel never wanted to lose her.

Through their many conversations, there was one small matter that kept being mentioned. That small thing was Ethan. Noel had seen Ethan and Honey kissing on the day she left for Manchester, and was pleasantly surprised. He approached Honey about this a few days after, and Honey seemed relieved that he knew. Noel knew that Ethan was a good man, and he made Honey happy. Not that he'd discussed any of this  _with_  the man in question. Knowing Ethan, it would probably throw him off his game.

Honey merrily skipped through the doors into the ever bustling ED. She saw her father at reception and grew even more excited. "Hello!" Honey called. Her voice was not mistaken for anyone else's as Noel's head shot up. Honey saw the smile grow on his face, and her's did too.

"Honey?" He spoke disbelievingly as he approached her and hugged her. She returned this strong embrace, and they broke apart, still smiling. "You never told me you were coming!" He pretended to scold his daughter and then laughed.

"Wanted to surprise you, didn't I?!" She laughed. "Anyway, I'm back again." She told Noel, gesturing over to the small little shop. His smile grew, Honey didn't realise how big Noel's grin could get.

It was definitely a pleasant surprise for Noel. Travelling up to Manchester wasn't the easiest thing in the world, and now she was mere meters away serving coffee. The clearing of a throat drew Noel out of his thoughts as he watched Honey go to the shop and turned around to see who cleared their throat.

Surprise, surprise, it was Louise. Noel could gauge her reaction- but it was obvious that she had seen Honey. Louise and Honey had a mutual relationship. If Honey didn't touch anything behind reception, and Louise didn't ask for extra sugar in her coffee, than they were okay with each other. Noel did  _not_  want to see what would happen if either of the women broke their term!

"She's back, then." Louise pouted, hand on her hip. Noel couldn't deny the sass that showed through her voice, and indeed her posture.

"How very observant of you, Louise." He responded sarcastically, smiling at the discomfort Louise showed. They had time to say no more as Cal came strolling up by reception- looking for a Mr. Branders. Instead of finding the patient, he laid eyes on Honey. Ethan's girl. What the hell was she doing back?

Cal dumped his patient notes on the reception desk and eyes up the barista- intent on seeing what she was doing. She was setting up shop. As if reading Cal's mind, Noel spoke up.

"She's returned for good now, and is the new...old...barista." He told the locum who had his eyes fixed on Honey. Cal allowed a grin to grace his features. Ethan would be in for a shock when he found out, and Cal didn't think he could wait for that moment.

He ignored the patient he went to reception to find, and instead made his way over to the ever-smiling Honey. "Cal! Hey!" She greeted him. Cal stood sheepishly, leaning against a wall. He could understand the attraction in Honey, but her and his awkward-in-every-situation-ever brother seemed an unusual couple.

"So, I heard you're permanently back then?" He asked. She nodded excitedly in response. "Cool..." Honey knew that Cal knew of hers and Ethan's... could you call it a relationship? She didn't think so. They hadn't progressed far after the Valentine's Day kiss they shared, so she guessed it was more of a starting-out-being-more-than-friends kind of thing. She was okay with that.

"How's Ethan?" Cal almost choked on air, it was strange hearing a girl Ethan fancied ask after him. Cal quickly composed himself and made it seem like nothing happened before answering.

"He's good." He said plainly, but, before he could continue, a middle aged man strode, well, limped up to him- and Connie was watching eagerly from reception.

"I don't pay my taxes so you can stand around chatting up women." The man grunted at Cal- his breath stinking of alcohol. The more Cal thought about it, the more he realised it wasn't just the man's breath. "Now, can I actually get seen to today?" Cal forced himself not to gag while speaking.

"Mr. Branders?" He asked as lightly as he could. The older man nodded gruffly. "Jesus." Cal muttered to himself, before saying a quick 'bye' to Honey to go and treat the man- brushing past Connie who was smiling at Cal's unfortunate luck.

Cal merrily strolled up to his brother- thankful he had managed to discharge Mr. Branders, ready to hear more about him and Honey now she was back. It had been about an hour, and most of the ED knew, so Cal guessed his little brother would know. "So, you asked her out yet?" Ethan almost jumped out of his skin when Cal appeared behind him, laughing silently. He turned around and look at Cal suspiciously, what was he talking about? Lily, maybe? Cal had been motioning nonstop for him to ask Lily out ever since Honey left. Obviously, Ethan refused.

"Asked who out?" He enquired quietly, making Cal look back as if Ethan had just spoken French. Cal never got along with French at school...naturally.

"Honey." Cal said plainly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe. Ethan stared back- brow creased in annoyance. He would have thought his brother had stopped teasing him by now,

"She's all the way in Manchester, Cal." Ethan dismissed, getting back to his patient's notes. It suddenly dawned on Cal what was going on. His little brother didn't know that Honey was back. Whoops.

"Ethan..." Cal hesitated, making the younger of the two stare back at him as he crooked his neck slightly so he could see Cal's face. "She's back." Ethan spun around properly, looking completely shocked at Cal's statement. He couldn't even find anything to say to Cal, as he searched the air for unknown words. Honey was back, and Ethan was far from ready.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S TOO HOT TO EVEN FUNCTION! England is in the middle of a heatwave (apparently...though I agree with the met office. Is it even normal to bend a chocolate bar in half without it snapping?!) and my brain has gone to mush. It's horrible. I know it's probably hotter in other countries, but I'm boiling when it's 20 degrees, so 32 is like an oven. So, sitting here with my ice water trying with all my might not to cook. I now sympathise with chickens. SO HOT! Sorry for ranting! I apoligise if this chapter isn't that good, and it is shorter than I would normally write, but I seriously can't write a lot because the quality of my writing at the moment isn't that good. Anyway, thank you so much for the reviews, follows and favourites I have received already! Can I ask you to review again? On with the chapter!

"Well...er...I guess...well…" Cal hid a smile at Ethan's nervousness. He wasn't even in front of Honey and he was already struggling just thinking about her being back. "So...er...hm…"

"Shut up, Ethan." Cal laughed. "Just go and speak to her." Of course Dr. Womaniser would say that, he could just march up to a girl, and within 10 minutes, they'd be going back to a hotel together.

"Easy for you to say." Ethan growled, finally finding his voice to indirectly insult his brother. Not that Cal noticed this insult, of course. He was far too wrapped up in his own head. Cal threw a smirk at Ethan.

"Just walk up to her, confidently, say 'Hi, how are you', and...just talk!" Ethan sighed mentally at how easy Cal thought this was. Why couldn't he just see that it wasn't easy for his awkward younger brother? "Go on, Ethan!" Cal persisted, getting annoyed at his brother's resistance. Ethan nodded slowly.

"If this doesn't go well, I'm blaming you." Ethan promised. Cal smiled warily. He didn't doubt Ethan would blame him- but Ethan caused his own problems when it concerned women- in no way was 'call me Cal' to blame.

Cal saw Ethan walk off slowly, looking like he wanted to turn back with every step. Cal turned back to his work, but never forgot about what Ethan was about to do. He couldn't wait to hear how it went!

Ethan took a deep breath as he stumbled over to the coffee shop- stopping short when he saw the beautiful girl he had fallen for. It felt like an age ago he had felt those feelings. Now they all came rushing back and he felt more reluctant to revisit them than ever. Ethan supposed it was the fact that he had never been good in relationships, and every relationship he had was the girl ending it to be with his brother. Ethan couldn't blame them. Cal was much more handsome, smarter, more instinctual and definitely less awkward and shy. Then Ethan had a thought that overwhelmed them all. What if Honey turns to Cal? That wouldn't happen, would it?

No! Ethan had to make this move before Cal had the chance to pick Honey up and sweep her away. He approached Honey and she looked up instantly, a smile gracing her wonderful features that captivated Ethan. "Hello." She greeted him. Ethan couldn't hide the grin that twitched the corners of his mouth upwards. He didn't realise how much he loved her voice.

"H-hi." He cringed internally. Why did he have to be so tongue-tied?! "I...er...like your teeth." He could have slapped himself. Teeth? Why teeth? He could have said anything, but he opted for teeth! Honey giggled that sweet giggle.

She knew how awkward he was and could only laugh at the fact she was the thing making him so shy. It was one of the reasons she fancied him. That and  _everything else_  about him. It was one of the reasons that she would never fancy Cal. Cal was outright, stubborn and too self-centered for her liking. "Long time, no see, eh?"

"Mm..." He agreed. He needed to say something else, something more. "We...er...I..." Why couldn't he speak properly? It had only been a couple of months since he last saw her!

"Would you like to go for a drink after work?" Honey suggested. Ethan froze up. Was she...she couldn't be...was it...it was a date. What did he say? Should he say yes but seem keen? He was too nervous to say yes anyway. This was all completely new to him.

"I...er..I have to..." He pointed in a random direction and headed there, deserting Honey before even answering her question.

Honey stood shocked. Had Ethan just blown her out?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I would like to thank you for reviewing, favouriting and following so far- it definitely helps! Yes, another chapter, and I hope you enjoy it! I have to say, I love writing awkward Ethan! And, apologies for getting this up so late. I'm very easily distracted by minuscule things! Look on the bright side... it's still Tuesday! Oh, and, one more thing. If you've ever had glasses, do you ever bite the end of them? I do...and it's weird. Most of the people I know do it. I mainly do it when I'm thinking...just a little something that I found odd. Enjoy!

Cal gazed across the room momentarily, something catching his eye. He found he was looking towards a distressed Honey who seemed to be striding up to him- the usual bounce in her step was diminished. Completely and unusually gone. Honey never usually was distressed or upset- Cal knew that for a fact. He never saw the barista without a smile on her face. Somehow, and Cal didn't even know how (probably brothers instinct), he suspected his too-awkward-for-words brother was connected to Honey's current state. He knew Ethan was going to talk to her- and now she looked downtrodden. One explanation, one word- Ethan.

"Cal!" Honey announced as she neared Cal- ready and rearing to spill out her man troubles. "Your brother," Cal knew it, "just blew me out!" She announced. Cal smirked- trying to hold back the laughter that threatened to spill out. He knew Ethan wouldn't have done that. Not on purpose, anyway. Having lived with Ethan for most of his life, he knew Ethan probably just became too nervous and avoided Honey. If that did happen, Cal knew he was sure to give his little brother  _all_  the advice he could. After all, Cal knew his way with women!

"Okay, tell me what happened." Cal asked her calmly, his laughter barriers holding back the giggles that he still felt like doing, hoping she wouldn't over-exaggerate anything. That was one of the things with Honey. The over-exaggeration that blew everything out of proportion. "Exactly how it was." He added on the end- making it clearer.

"Well, like, he came up to me... and... well... told me I had nice teeth." Her face screwed up in confusion- looking like she was still trying to decide why Ethan talked about her teeth. Of course it was because of his naturally shy nature, but...still. This time, Cal laughed. Properly. He nearly fell to the floor with his out-of-breath laughter. Honey looked shocked for a few seconds, before grinning stupidly. She did find it quite sweet. Cal, on the other hand, remembered Ethan's first girlfriend. Tina Pickman. Admittedly, he was going out with her at the same time, but he remembered Tina telling him what Ethan told her the first time the two met. He could remember the sentence like it was yesterday.

" _I... er... like your... er... ears."_

He had improved, slightly. At least it was teeth this time. Teeth always seemed better than ears. Eyes are usually the go-to line. Was Ethan so nervous that he  _completely_  forgot about the eyes he would swoon over? Maybe Cal should teach his little brother how to  _actually_  talk to women. Then again, you needed the charm that Ethan just didn't have!

"Then," she continued, "I asked him if he wanted to go for a drink with me," Cal saw the mistake there. Ethan obviously freaked out completely. Always let Ethan ask you out, never ask him out- then you know he's prepared and he won't run off. That was the main problem. "He sad he needed to go somewhere after that, and just went! He left without even giving me an answer!" Cal licked his lips in thought. He  _needed_  to talk to Ethan, and he  _needed_  to keep Honey away. Seeing Honey after that... performance... would throw him right off even more.

"Right, well, for the time being, just get back to work. I'll talk to him, and he probably will be fine after that." Cal told her- not really sure whether there was any truth in his words. Not even Cal could guarantee he could help his brother.

"Are you sure he still likes me?" She asked worriedly. It seemed like that was the question playing on her mind from the very beginning.

"Positive." He reassured her. Honey nodded her thanks before trotting off, and Cal watched her go- a sparkly glint in his eye as he ran through the possible conversation he would have with Ethan. Whatever the conversation- it would sure be amusing.

Ethan was sitting in the staff room, mulling over what a mess he'd made with Honey. He was fiddling with his glasses, even biting the end- something he tended to do when in deep thought. Surely he'd been given enough chances with Honey to get things right. He'd blown it and she wouldn't want to know more of this again. He'd kind of ignored her when she was in Manchester, and now he ran off when things got too hard for him.  _Jesus Ethan, get your act together!_

"Alright, little bro!" Cal teased, nudging Ethan's arm, making him snap out of his thoughts and put his glasses back on. Ethan looked up at him, debating on whether to tell Cal about the disastrous minute he spent talking... not talking, to be honest...to the girl of his dreams.

"I said she had nice teeth." He came out with after a couple of seconds- without putting it into the slightest but of context. He realised Cal would have no idea what he was talking about, so expanded. "I told Honey...I told her she had nice teeth. I mean...teeth?" Cal nodded, smiling his amusement.

"Honey told me." Ethan looked up at Cal. Honey had probably told Cal what a mess Ethan had made of things. Great, just great. "Don't look so worried!" Cal coaxed, sitting by Ethan. That didn't help matters at all. Ethan still looked as petrified as ever, and something told Cal that Ethan knew what he had just done to Honey. "Yes, she's fine with it." He decided not to add the probably to the end of it. That would only make Ethan more worked up.

Ethan smiled sadly. This would take a lot of convincing.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings! Before you read the chapter, I am sorry this is updated late. Technically it's not even 20 past midnight yet on Wednesday, but it was meant to be uploaded yesterday. The window of time was so close!
> 
> Thank you for the positive responses! May I ask if you would be so kind to review again?
> 
> (Putting this on all my current stories, sorry if you've already read it.) Updates...I do try and update when I say I will. About 5% of the time, if I don't update, it will be to do with the case of my memory. Most of the time- 95%- it'll be to do with the fact that I have off days. Basically, when my depression suddenly decides to be horrible to me and make me not enjoy anything and feel so tired all I can think about doing is sleeping and trying not to contemplate life too much. :) So yeah, just a little warning! Hopefully that doesn't happen too often. It seems to have decreased in the last like half a year, so, yay! Anyway, sorry for ranting!
> 
> I hope you enjoy chapter 4!

It was so repetitive. Honey just stood there, serving drinks. She thought it would be enjoyable. She thought returning to Holby would be nice. She thought wrong. Yes, of course, Noel was in Holby, and he frequently wandered up to the coffee shop when Louise wasn't looking to engage in conversation with his daughter, but Honey also wanted the man she had fallen for. The man she had fallen hard for.

Cal couldn't work miracles- she knew that. His aura didn't say very much about him at all to be honest. Somehow, she thought a miracle was needed to get Ethan back. Honey was still inwardly debating whether Ethan had blown her out or whether he really was just a turtle receding back into its shell, hibernating almost.

She had, indeed, returned to Holby to be with both her father and Ethan. While away in Manchester, she had met a bloke- similar but different to Dr. Hardy. He had reminded her of Ethan- which made dating him both painful and relieving. She liked the quirks this man had shared with Ethan. The no-getting-drunk and the fact he was a proper man, in the way that he treated her with respect despite her previous line of work, to name a couple. However, there were slight things that made Ethan more charming, and things that made Honey go weak at the knees- so to speak. Like the sweetness that Ethan always had. Honey didn't think Ethan had it in him to be purposefully angry or rude- especially a spur of the moment thing.

She did eventually turn her boyfriend down, though she couldn't mistake the puppy dog eyes that the man had. She just hoped that Ethan didn't have them- the power that can be possesd!

And Honey was back to the normal routine. It was utterly boring!

"How, though?" Ethan asked his brother, whike pacing up and down in the staffroom. He still didn't know how to a policies to Honey, and how to ask her out. Sometimes, he wished he was Cal. Instinctual, sweet talker, and non-stutterer. Ethan definitely inherited his mother's genes, and Cal bared resemblance to his father.

"Please stop pacing." Cal spoke, frustrated. Ethan had been doing that for the last ten minutes, and it was doing Cal's head in. Ethan shot him a disgruntled look, but sat down- nervously tapping his fingers on the table, as well as bouncing his leg up and down. Why couldn't he sit still?

"Well?" Cal didn't even venture to answer. "Come on, Caleb. Think about all the women you've dated!" Cal sighed.

"Ethan, be realistic. I've only had one actual proper girlfriend as she's a con artist. Do you really think you should come to me for advice?" Ethan gave him a look that told him what he didn't want to be told. "Fine," Cal gave in and Ethan smiled cheekily, "just go up to her, say you're sorry for being a socially awkward 30 year old oaf-"

"-Cal!"

"Okay, okay. Just walk up to her, head held high, straight back, looking confident, and say,  _'Honey, I am very sorry for messing up, I didn't mean to be rude. I was just wondering if you would like to go for a drink after my shift finishes, by way of me making it up to you?'_  So, it's not a date as such, but it still sort of is." Cal looked at Ethan properly. He'd taken his eyes off of his little brother to think about the little speech, and he had turned back to Ethan writing what he was saying on a scrap piece of paper. Oh, Ethan.

Ethan spotted Cal smiling at him, "what? I don't want to get it wrong." He was trying to justify it, but it wasn't working.

"It's meant to roll of your tongue, you're meant to make it seen natural, not like your reading from a script," laughed Cal.

"Yes, it comes naturally to you. If I didn't have some sort of reference I'd probably bottle it." The younger admitted. Cal couldn't deny that. It was true!

"Ready?"

"What...now?" Ethan spat out. No way in hell was he doing it now. He'd need to practice it- over and over, so it looked like he was a smooth talking kind of guy.

"Yes, now! Don't keep her hanging!" Ethan groaned. He would do it eventually, and better now when he had a smidgen of courage. No doubt even the ti y bit of courage he had would diminish later on.

Ethan nodded, trying to seem confident- even though he was far from it. "Okay, I'm ready."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy! Finally finished the school year! It feels good and bad at the same time...I mean, good because it's the summer holidays and it means more fan-fiction writing, but bad because next year are my GCSEs. Mixed feelings! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! I'm glad people are enjoying this, and would you mind leaving your thoughts on this chapter too? I shall let you read on!

Ethan walked slowly over to the little shop that Honey was currently standing at- serving coffee. He blew out a shaky breath, waited for it to clear, and tried to walk up confidently. It didn't help the fact that he tripped over his undone shoelace right in front of her. He heard her stifle her giggle as he bent down to do it up. He groaned inwardly. This really couldn't get any worse.

He stood up, confidence knocked slightly, and faced her. She was staring at him- like she was expecting something. It's now or never, Ethan told himself, just ask!

"Honey, I am very sorry for messing up, I didn't mean to be rude." He smiled at his own effort- echoing the words Cal told him to speak. He had actually said something to her properly- the first thing since February. Now, he had to ask her out.

"It's alright." Honey said. Ethan had an entire thing prepared, and Honey interrupted it. He ran everything back through his head. Everything Cal told him.

"Right, yes, well, I-I was wondering if you would like to, I mean- you don't have to- I mean, I would like you too, but, well, I don't want you to feel pressured into doing it…" He stopped short. Shut up, Ethan! He'd been knocked off of his game. He looked at Honey's smile and went weak at the knees. What was it Cal said? Come on, Ethan, think. Something about drinks… come on Ethan, you tongue-tied idiot! "Would-you-like-to-go-for-a-drink-with-me?" He rushed out- surprised at his own speed of talking.

"I didn't catch that." Honey told him sympathetically.

"I was just wondering if you would like to go for a drink after my shift finishes," he spoke more clearly- fixing the wording to match what Cal said. He'd only mess up otherwise, "by way of me making it up to you?" He added on the end to justify his request. He'd literally copied Cal's words, and it had worked. Her grin grew bigger. She seemed to be in deep thought for a few seconds before answering.

"I would love that, Ethan." She almost couldn't contain her joy- smile broad. Ethan grinned like an idiot- pleased he had managed this all-too-simple task by himself. Well, not completely, but it was good enough for the tongue-tied doctor.

"Can I come here after my shift finishes and we can head off together?"

"I can't wait!" Honey nearly jumped up and down with excitement. Ethan nodded his head, pleased, and made his way back to work- not being able to wipe the cheerful look off of his face.

The time ticked by, slower than both of them usually thought time went by. It was tedious. Honey kept glancing at the clock- wishing for the time to go faster. She'd spilt a couple of drinks due to how her mind wasn't on the task in hand. She had no time to think about drinks- she was only thinking about Ethan. That smile, those eyes, that wondrous-

"-tea please," broke through her thoughts. She sighed and got back to her job- continuously watching the clock, waiting. Just waiting.

Ethan paced up and down in the staffroom- undoing and redoing his top shirt button. Clothes was never his thing, but did it look better done up? He groaned. Why did he suddenly care about his top button? He undid it and left it- going back and doing it up a second later. He shook his head in worry and continued to pace, still thinking about his shirt he drew his attention to his tucked in shirt. Was that too formal? He untucked it and examined it. Then tucked it back in and compared the difference. No, definitely tucked in- and top button undone. Yes, that was perfect.

He glanced at his watch and sighed again. It was a whole 15 minutes after his shift ended. He was 15 minutes late for meeting Honey. God, Ethan, he berated himself, you idiot!

He rushed out of the staff room and darted towards the shop. Honey was there, waiting patiently, smiling. Ethan took that as a good sign- it was, wasn't it? "Thought you weren't coming." Honey told him. Ethan looked ashamed.

"Well… I… er-"

"-relax, I'm messing with you!" Both of them giggled slightly. Ethan really was easy to tease. He was just glad he hadn't messed up again. He wouldn't be able to bare going to his brother for advice again- it was embarrassing not he looked more into it. A 30 year old asking for woman advice from his brother? No. Not happening again. Hopefully.

"Shall we go to the pub then?" Ethan suggested after a moment's silence. Honey nodded and they made their way to the Hope and Anchor. Ethan threw a worried but confident glance behind his back at Cal who was talking to Max, and Cal returned it with a discreet thumbs up.

Honey sat down at a side table, and Ethan returned a moment later with a drink for the woman sitting down and himself. "Thank you." Honey said gratefully.

"My pleasure." Ethan returned, smiling sweetly. He just couldn't seem to stop smiling now- and he loved the feeling of constant happiness that washed through him- invading his every nerve, every bone, every thought. It was too good, and he was determined never to lose this feeling.

"So…" Honey started- getting talking with Ethan about a whole number of things. Manchester, Noel, funny incidents of her childhood. Ethan stayed captivated throughout, before he started sharing information with her too. Neither noticing their colleagues who were also in the pub.

Cal was sitting at a table with Max, Lofty, Robyn and Rita- all having an after-shift drink. Max stole a glance at Ethan and Honey- who seemed immersed in conversation. "What's the deal with them, then?" He asked. Cal looked over his shoulder and smiled at Ethan's obvious success. He turned back and saw the eager faces of his four friends.

"They're just friends." He brushed off, taking a gulp from his glass. He really wasn't sure himself, if he was perfectly honest. Best not to start any rumours- especially with the people he was sitting at the table with.

Ethan and Honey continued talking- finding the other that little bit more loveable. It was amazing for both of them, perfect almost.

It was perfect, wasn't it? Both Honey and Ethan thought so. Ethan had finally become more confident around Honey...with a little nudge from Cal, and Honey had forgiven Ethan completely- finally feeling happier since February.

That was the thing- it was like a happy ending to a story book. It was like how Cinderella gets married and lives happily afterwards, or like how Spider-Man defeats the Green Goblin and good prevails. It's just too good to be true. It's always too good to be true.

And everyone knows there's no such thing as a perfect love story.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for your reviews once again- they never fail to make me smile! Once again, thoughts on this chapter? Also, I hope the ending isn't too rushed. I kept changing this chapter and I really, really hope I didn't rush into it.
> 
> Honey is now, finally, back in Casualty. I still don't know whether I prefer Ethan with her or Lily. They have different things going for them- though Ethan doesn't seem interested in Lily...yet. What are you thinking? Anyway, on with the sixth chapter!

All in all, it was a good night. Ethan and Honey mainly just spent it catching up on various things they did while apart. Ethan apologised profusely for not interacting with her when she was in Manchester, and she never failed to forgive him. It was just Ethan's way, and Honey loved that about him. Neither knew if they were in a relationship or not. They shared a kiss of Valentine's day, they have both admitted to fancying each other, and gone out for drinks. Ethan found it completely confusing.

Being ever the gentleman, Ethan dropped Honey off at her father's house (where she was staying for the time being), and made his way home- to find an eager Cal waiting for him. Ethan sighed loudly.

"So?" Cal quizzed.

"Nothing." The younger dismissed, shaking his head and waking to the kitchen to get himself a glass of water. Cal followed him like an eager puppy. Ethan gave in. "We just talked."

Cal grinned widely. "You know Max and that lot asked about you two." Ethan tensed up and Cal laughed slightly. "I told them you are just friends. Are you? I mean, are you  _just_  friends." Ethan made his way to the sofa and slumped down on it.

"Honestly?" He asked rhetorically. "I don't know." Cal sat next to his little brother, making the sofa slump down even more. "I mean, yeah, we are, but...I don't know if..." He hesitated, searching for the right word or phrase, "you know."

"You're in a relationship with her." Cal concluded. Ethan nodded sadly. "Ask her."

"How much have you had to drink tonight?!" Ethan exclaimed. Cal shot a hurt but almost amused look at Ethan. "Sorry, I...this isn't really my area of expertise, Cal." He sighed.

"Yeah. I guessed." Cal spoke sarcastically. "Girls like it when you're straight with them." Ethan scoffed. Cal held up his hands in defense. "I get it. How can I talk?" Cal said, reading Ethan's thoughts. "But, they do. I may not have a girlfriend, but I have experience in these matters. Personally, I think you should just go up to her and ask her."

"Okay, I don't want to make a habit of this-"

"-how do you ask her?"

Ethan nodded slowly. He really didn't want to make a habit out of asking Cal for relationship advice. He was 30 and yet he couldn't sweet talk women. It was a little embarrassing- especially because it was his  _brother_  he was asking.

"Okay, so..." Cal rubbed his hair- thinking hard about this. He was no expert- especially if his most recent girlfriend proved that, but he was helping his little brother have success- and that made his help. (Even if he would never admit it!) "Let it come from your natural charm." Ethan stared wide-eyed at Cal's advice. "She likes you for who you are, Ethan. Not for words you've rehearsed. She likes  _Ethan_." Ethan grimaced. It was going to go so badly when he asked. Maybe he should leave it. Leave it for a couple of days- get some more confirmation that she still liked him in  _that_  way.

"I'm going to bed." Ethan came out with. Cal nodded and watched Ethan walk away, hoping Ethan could make it work with Honey.

Honey swore loudly, cursing to the ends of the earth. This was very unusual behaviour for the young woman who had only sweetness in her heart and mind- and also name. Her behaviour was deemed very appropriate by her, though. Very appropriate indeed- given the current situation. Everything was perfect. Everything was alright. She was in Holby, with her father, with Ethan. That was a possible relationship, and she had a feeling it would advance. Well, she did have a feeling. That was totally gone now. Diminished from the face of the earth.

She never should have done it. Ever. Honey broke down crying on the floor- thinking about how she'd messed everything up. It was that man she dated in Manchester. That man. He could have caused the fall of her relationship with Ethan. It was partly her fault- she knew that. She was the one that feel for that man- the man who reminded her so much of Ethan. She couldn't bear to speak his name- it felt foreign on her tongue. Especially if she was using it on the context of dating. Ethan Hardy was the person she fell hard for. The other person didn't matter. Not when she returned to Holby. Now, though- he mattered. He definitely mattered. He was the reason she was in her current distressed state.

In a fit of rage, Honey threw what she held in her hand against the wall. It bounced off and landed on front of her. She looked at it and swore again, for she was staring at a little white stick that read ' _Positive_ '.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! (Warning- there is a lot of speech in this chapter. I personally hate writing speech because it gets really tedious trying to write it after a while, so I apoligise if it isn't that good.) Thank you for all the reviews on the last chapter, and I hope you enjoy this one just as much!

"I don't know what to do." Honey admitted to her father as they sat side by side at the top of the staircase. "I mean, I don't know whether to tell him or not." She fretted, anxiously tapping her hands on her knees. Noel scrunched his face up in thought for a second or two.

"You'll have to tell him eventually, darling." He told her. Honey grimaced when imagining it. She obviously wanted to tell him, she would love to tell him, but she didn't know what his reaction would be. She certainly would hate it to be a bad one.

"What if he doesn't want to be there for me?"

"He will, I'm sure of it." Noel said reassuringly- putting an arm around her shoulders and bringing her in a little closer to him. It was tough being a dad, but he thoroughly enjoyed it. He knew that the man in question would too.

"But how can you be sure, Dad?" She asked, raising her head and looking at him in the eyes- desperately needing an answer.

"There are a lot of things in this world that you have to take chances on. But, what is life if you don't take chances, you have to seize them when you can and not worry about the consequences." He explained, placing a hand over his daughter's to stop her tapping.

"I don't understand, Dad."

"Just go for it. Tell him. I'm sure everything will work out fine." Obviously he wasn't one hundred percent sure. He was around nintey-five percent sure. And that was good enough for him to be confident when trying to calm Honey's nerves.

"The hardest part, I guess, is doing it over the phone."

Noel looked confused when Honey told him about the phone. "Why are you doing it over the phone?"

Now it was Honey's turn to look confused. "Because he's in Manchester, Dad!"

Noel smiled slightly. He'd just messed up. "We are talking about Ethan, aren't we?"

Honey giggled. "No! The father, Blake." Noel grinned widely. They'd been talking about two different people the whole time.

"Oh, sorry. I thought we were talking about Ethan."

"I'm not going to tell him…" Honey decided finally.

"Who are we talking about now…?" He didn't really want to mess up again.

"Ethan. I can't tell him."

"Why not? He's the sweetest man ever, and the most caring. If anyone will support you, he will." He told her, rubbing her shoulder in reassurance and comfort.

"But-"

"-trust me, Honey. Ring Blake up, tell him the situation, then go into work, pull Ethan aside, and tell him what's happened." Noel explained as if it was the simplest thing in the world. Honey sighed. It seemed simple on paper, but it real life…

"I better do it now." She said after a moment of silence. "Wish me luck, Dad." She heard the faint 'good luck' for her father as she walked off down the hall- going into silence. She looked down at her phone and saw the contact she'd almost deleted a couple of days ago. She thought she'd never have to contact her ex-boyfriend again- yet, here she was, ringing him up tell him that she was carrying his baby. It seemed too surreal to be true.

She placed the phone next to her ear, and, with every ring of the phone, Honey wanted to hang up more. Then someone picked up and the all-too-familiar voice of Blake Llewellyn echoed through the phone and sparked up memories of the wonderful time she spent with him.

"Blake," she started, unsure of how to continue, "I have something I need to tell you…"

"What would my ex-girlfriend want to tell me?" He snarled. "' _Oh, Blake, I'm pregnant with your child_ '" He mocked, then laughed. Honey went silent. "Honey? Go on, I won't mess around. What is it you need to tell me?" He could hear heavy breathing on the other end of the line but Honey didn't speak. "Okay, I'm sorry I mocked you, just… just tell me what you need to tell me."

"I-I… well… I… er… " Honey stuttered.

"Honey," he approached cautiously. "You aren't  _actually_  pregnant, are you?" He spoke, dread lacing his tone. Honey gulped nervously.

"K-kind of…"

"How can you be 'kind of' pregnant. You either are or you aren't!" He shouted down the phone.

"Well…" She trailed off. This really wasn't her area of expertise.

"Honey!" Blake persisted.

"Yes." She admitted carefully.

"Yes to what? Yes to you are, or yes to you aren't?" He was speaking in frantic worry than anything else. Honey didn't know whether he was taking it well or not. She hoped it wasn't the latter.

Honey gulped. "The first one." She heard Blake swear then a beeping noise on her phone. He'd hung up. Honey slid down the wall, clutching her phone to her chest. If she was going to keep this baby- which she had the full intention of doing- she wanted the actual father to be around, to support the baby. She hated not having Noel. Blake needed to tell her his thoughts. Tell her what he was thinking, at least. For now, until Blake got back to her, she needed to tell her kind-of boyfriend.

She had been at work for a couple of hours, and still didn't know when to tell Ethan. They weren't in a relationship yet. She didn't even know if he wanted to be in a relationship. Actually, scratch that, she was almost certain he did. And she returned these feelings. The only problem- she would have to tell him eventually if they do decide to be together. Better now than never. She spotted him, ran from behind the shop, grabbed his wrist and let him to a quieter area.

"I need to tell you something." She said quickly- already regretting this. He was probably busy with a patient. She shouldn't have interrupted with his work. She was about to back out but he didn't give her the chance to.

"...what?" Ethan asked, confused at where this was going. Honey looked frightened- like she had some terrible news and dreaded telling him. Was this a rejection? Was he being rejected? He hoped to God he wasn't.

Honey took a deep breath- psyching herself out. "Well, I-"

"-Honey!" A welsh voice called from behind her. She would recognise that voice anywhere. She spun round instantly and saw Blake. He had a beaming smile from ear to ear. "This is the best news ever!" Honey smiled instantly. He'd changed his tune. Maybe he would step up and be a dad! Her smile dropped when she realised just who she was talking to before Blake came.

"I-I'm sorry… who are you?" Ethan interrupted- utterly confused at what this stranger was talking about with Honey.

"Oh, hi!" He held his hand out and Ethan hesitantly shook it. "I'm Blake, Blake Llewellyn. Honey's boyfr-"

"-ex! You're my ex-boyfriend!" She corrected with an angry sigh.

"Come on, I'm going to father our baby! You can't just expect us to be in a split relationship!" Honey stood wide-eyed at Blake. She hadn't got the chance to tell Ethan about this man or the pregnancy yet. This would be a lot to take in for him. She almost didn't want to turn around and see Ethan's reaction.

Ethan stood, shocked. His mouth bobbing open and closed as he tried to force the words out. Had he heard correctly? Who was this Blake Llewellyn? When did Honey date him? Was Honey pregnant? Honey turned to look at him but Ethan was speechless.

After what felt like hours to Ethan- in reality only a few seconds- Honey broke the silence. "I can explain."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for your reviews on the last chapter, and I hope you enjoy this one just as much, and like Ethan's reaction to the whole thing. Also, the last paragraph is a bit odd as I'm awful at writing these sorts of things. On with the eighth chapter.

"There's… there's no need. We're… we're just friends… just friends…" Ethan stuttered. It hurt him to say they were 'just friends', but it was the truth. He knew it all along. Yes, they had been on a date, yes, they had kissed. But that didn't strictly mean that they were in a relationship. Look at how many girls Cal's slept with- he could never be able to say he was in a relationship with most of them. Honey reached out a hand to Ethan while Blake stood back, watching the scene, very confused. Ethan quickly took a step away from Honey, and Honey looked shocked.

"Ethan… look… this wasn't planned… I didn't even know Blake was coming. I was going to tell you, I swear it." She justified- though Ethan didn't really care now. All he cared about was getting his heart to stop the dull ache that it had newly acquired.

"It doesn't matter, Honey." He shook his head. "You obviously like Blake, here. So you go and be happy with him and have his baby." Honey stepped forward but Ethan made for the doors to the emergency department. Honey started to follow him.

"Wait! Ethan!" She called after him, stopping. She saw him turn back around sharply- as well as feeling the presence of Blake behind her. "Look, I don't love Blake. I thought I did- back in Manchester when I went to help my gran. It was a mistake- the baby and everything was a mistake." She held out her hand once again but Ethan refused to take it. "I love  _you_ , Ethan. From the moment I laid eyes on you. You appeared at the shop, hiding behind a magazine in a smart black suit. From that moment, I felt my heart beat faster. Then you were nothing but kind to me. You are an amazing man Dr Hardy, and I absolutely adore you."

Ethan hesitated. He took in Honey's little speech, but there was a nagging feeling in his head. Something he just had to ask, something that didn't make sense. "If you loved me, why would you be in a relationship, one where you… one where you can create babies, with someone else you must have loved? You can't love two people at once, Honey. The world doesn't work like that. You can trick yourself into thinking that, but it's not possible."

"It was a mistake, Ethan!" She nearly shouted, catching the attention of nearby patients and colleagues. "Please," she said, voice quieter, "just give me a chance."

"Why would I give you a chance?" Honey took a step back. This wasn't the Ethan she knew. The Ethan she knew was sweet, caring… lovable. Now he was being harsh… different. That was the one thing Honey found difficult in men. You could never understand their feelings. "You come to Holby and things happen before we share a kiss. Then you go away to Manchester. Suddenly, you start going out with him," Ethan gestured weakly to Blake, "and get pregnant-"

"-it wasn't planned!" Honey repeated. Ethan carried on like he hadn't heard her.

"You come back and don't even tell me about him- but why should you? It's not like we're going out with each other, is it? We only went on one date. One petty date that doesn't mean a thing because you're pregnant with someone else's child. It's obvious he still loves you, and the way you look at him suggests you like him back. We're not even in anything close to a relationship. We're just friends that had a good time being together. It was fun while it lasted, and now that's dead." He said aggressively, before storming out of the hospital.

Honey stood in shock. She was both hurt and guilty about what just happened. It was her fault, she knew that she was to blame. She should never have slept with Blake- but he reminded her so much of Ethan. They should have used protection... they should have thought of the possibilities that one fun night could do. They didn't. They were as immature as teenagers. Now she'd probably lost Ethan for good. She didn't even fancy Blake anymore. What a mess she was in.

Lily tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for 'shop-girl' to come back. She briefly saw Ethan storming out of the ED, and then Honey directing a man to somewhere. Now she was just stood in one spot- staring out of the doors that Ethan had recently gone through. Lily noticed how both Ethan and Honey looked upset. Maybe she could cheer Ethan up, she mused. That would work in her favour- it would definitely aid her five-year plan.

"What do you want?" Broke her out of her thoughts. She stood facing Honey, who had returned to her duties, looking completely down-trodden. Lily allowed the corner of her mouth to twitch upwards with a smirk. Maybe she really could get Ethan now. Lily ordered her usual, and then Ethan's usual, paid and went to find the SPR.

Lily first went out of the hospital and looked left and right. She thought about where Ethan might go of he was upset. He wouldn't go home- that would mean leaving in the middle of a shift. Ethan only did that in times of real need. He could have gone to the pub... no, that wasn't like Ethan at all. Her gaze drew to the peace garden where she saw a figure in blue scrubs sitting on the bench with his head in his hands. It had to be Ethan. She strolled up to him, and sighed with relief when she realised it was. Lily took a seat next to him. "Coffee?" She asked, sweetly. Ethan's head shot up in surprise, before looking at the cup in Lily's hand.

"Oh, right, thanks." He said finally, reaching into his pocket for his wallet.

"Don't bother." Lily dismissed. "It's on me." Ethan nodded gratefully. She handed him the cup and saw him take a shaky sip out of it, before resting it in his hands, staring at it. Not even bothering to drink more. "You have to actually drink it. There's no such thing as you mind-control, Ethan." She joked slightly. Ethan didn't seem amused.

"Yet..." Ethan added on the end of it, feeling his eyes sting with unshed tears. He looked back up at Lily and apoligised. "In my own world a bit. You should be working, anyway." He whispered, voice full of emotion.

"So should you, but you aren't. I just thought I'd keep you company." Lily explained, resting back against the bench, drinking more of her coffee.

"There's... there's no need. I'm fine. Mrs Beauchamp will have your head on a stick if you don't get back to work." He muttered, taking another sip out of his own cup, enjoying the warmth of the coffee wash down his throat.

Lily sighed. Ethan was obviously not ' _fine_ '. "She'll have yours too, you know." Ethan just shook his head, wiping away a stray tear. Lily was never the most sympathetic type, but she tried to help Ethan as best she could. "Why don't you tell me what's wrong? I could help you," she suggested.

"I really don't think you can..." Ethan spoke uncertainly, letting a couple more tears fall. He'd only been rejected a handful of times... he'd only had a handful of girlfriends, but he was sure it had never felt as bad as this. His throat felt tight and clogged with emotion. His heart ached and longed for Honey. He wanted to scream and shout and punch something, but he also wanted to go into a corner and cry for hours at the same time. He didn't really understand it. It wasn't like he was in a relationship with Honey, so why was he feeling so low?

"Try me," she challenged, cheekily.

"Well... er..." He stuttered as he tried to find the right way to put it. He put down his coffee onto the space next to him, rubbing his hands over his eyes. He saw Lily put down her coffee too and turn around to face him properly. He kept his head down. "The thing is-"

Ethan stoopped speaking suddenly as he lifted his head up and looked at Lily properly. Something was different about her, something he hadn't realised before. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he felt all his problems wash away as if the tide carried them off into the ocean.

He stared into Lily's eyes, mesmerised by how the sunlight seemed to reflect off of them in this seemingly perfect moment. Ethan became lost in them, feeling numb as he continued to stare into them- completely unaware that Lily was feeling the same way as him. He studied her face. Her perfect nose, her perfect mouth, her perfect everything. It was amazing. In that moment, Ethan felt lost in his own world. He took a small breath in, closing his eyes, letting his mouth twitch upwards in a smile as he leaned closer to the doctor. Ethan felt Lily leaning closer to him too, before they met and shared a soft kiss.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I was really worried about the ending of the chapter because different people have different views about Ethan/Honey and Ethan/Lily. I hope you still continue to like it, though! (Putting this on all my stories so sorry if you've already read it) Considering I soon go back to school, I've decided to get rid of my updating schedule because I have my GCSEs this year and they really do take priority, so I don't want to have an update schedule to try and stick to. It also means there might be long waits in between chapters, but I'll try to update as regularly as I can. Sorry! Let chapter 9 commence!

Ethan pulled away, thoughts racing through his mind. Did he just kiss Lily? Damn. He just kissed Lily.  _I just kissed... Lily?! What was I thinking?_  He truly didn't know. His heart hurt and his emotions were all over the place. He thought about Honey. The beautiful woman he was captivated with, who would make him tongue-tied, who would make his heart beat faster. The woman who he wanted to be with, who he wanted to go out with, who he wanted to spend (possibly) the rest of his life with. But then there was Blake. She was carrying his child! She'd been with him, been in a relationship with him, one which allowed them to make babies. She could have been with him before she came to Holby back in October. Who knows how close they were?! She could even like Blake more than she did Ethan. She might even want to be with him more than she let on. God, she might even want to marry him!

 _No, that's ridiculous._ If she wanted to be with him, she would never have agreed to go out with Ethan, right? Or maybe Ethan was a rebound. Maybe Ethan was the rebound from the father of the baby Honey was currently carrying. How far gone was she anyway? Ethan needed to find out. It hurt to think he might be a rebound. He'd never had success with woman. They'd either meet him but go to his brother, or meet him and just not like him. The former happened ninety-nine percent of the time. Oh no. What if Honey actually didn't like Blake anymore, and wanted to be with Ethan.

 _Stupid! You messed it up again!_ He honestly didn't know what to do. He didn't know who Honey liked, what Blake's motives were, how long they were together for! It was such a big mess!

But,  _God_! He  _kissed_  Lily! Lily, of all people! He didn't even have feelings for the person sitting opposite him. Oh no, he was so wrapped up in his own thoughts he forgot Lily was there.

"In your own world again?" Lily spoke knowingly, a smile on her face. Ethan's breathing hitched as he wondered how to approach this situation.

"Look, Lily... about the kiss-"

"-I know."  _Phew. Maybe this could all be sorted out easily enough._  "And, if I'm perfectly honest, I feel the same way."  _Good, so she doesn't love me. That's a huge relief._  "I've felt the do same way for a long time." She admitted.  _Stop right there. Is she talking about not loving me still?_  "I never thought you'd love me back." _Damn._  He'd messed up yet again.

"No, Lily, you don't understand," said Ethan carefully. He didn't want to upset her like he did to Honey.

She looked confused. "...understand what?"

"The thing is, Lily... well, I don't really know how to put this... I didn't mean to kiss you." He grimaced at the way his voice shook as he said it. It sounded a lot better in his head.

Lily looked taken aback. Taken aback and hurt. "So you led me on!" Ethan was about to speak but she cut him off. "You led me on, you made me think you loved me! Was it a dare or something? You take after your brother," she told him. Ethan's eyes widened.

"No, you don't understand! I'm not like Cal, you're my friend-"

"-both you and Cal are just the same. Cal did the same thing to me! It's a brother thing." Ethan could have sworn his day wouldn't get any worse. Lily shook her head, "don't talk to me. Don't even come near me."

Ethan watched in despair as Lily nearly jumped off the bench and stormed back to the ED. Oh God! His life was a mess at the minute. He picked up his significantly colder coffee that Lily bought for him and immediately felt guilt surge through him. He was never that good with the opposite sex. His horrendous day just further proved that. First Honey, then Lily. He needed to apoligise to Honey sooner or later, didn't he? He needed to save at least one friend.

Ethan slowly rose from the bench, picking up Lily's near to untouched coffee in his other hand and throwing both his and hers away, before making his way into Holby ED, the one place he hoped Honey would be. His eyes darted to the coffee shop, but Honey wasn't there- only a long line of waiting customers. Then his eyes darted to reception; where her father was. Ethan laid his eyes on her. Honey was talking to her father, and Ethan could see a tear roll down her cheek. He hoped to God (not that he was strictly religious, or an atheist... he decided not to go there) that he wasn't the cause of that. He would never forgive himself.

He warily approached her, regretting every step he took. "Honey...?" He said as he finally stopped walking. Noel sent him an uncharacteristic glare and Ethan immediately knew he had caused Honey's state. He saw Honey turn to face him, her eyes squinting menacingly.

"...how could you?" Her voice sounded one of shock. Ethan just stood there. "You... you shouted at me then... then you kissed her. You kissed Lily," stated Honey accusingly. Ethan's mouth hung open. Did Lily tell her? How could she?! "Right there... in the middle of the bloody peace garden. Not exactly discreet, were you?! Anybody could have seen you. Including Blake, including me!" Ethan blinked rapidly, sending unwanted tears down his cheeks. "I don't see why you're crying. You had your chance with me. You blew it. Maybe I should go back to Blake. He seems like the perfect guy for me! I am carrying his child after all. Why did I even  _consider_  you?! I should have known your type. Nice and sweet but ready to betray someone the first chance they get." Ethan felt his eyes sting with more tears. He didn't mean to hurt her, he didn't mean anything. But that didn't matter; Honey didn't know. She just carried on her assassination. "Then you had a chance with Lily- a slim one, but still a chance. Though, I hear that didn't go too well. Well, congratulations, Ethan! You just blew your chance with two people. No wonder Cal gets all the women, even the ones originally falling for you. I can see why." She spat, voice raised. It felt like a knife had been plunged into his heart, but the last statement was the last nail on the coffin. Why did he keep being compared to his older brother?! Ethan felt a few more tears fall, and through blurry eyes, saw Honey step back slightly. She looked ashamed. "Oh God, I didn't mean..." Ethan felt his breathing quicken as he choked back a sob. He clasped a hand to his mouth as he tried desperately not to cry. "Ethan, I..." She had no words and Ethan just shook his head. He knew people could say things they didn't mean when they were angry, but she was right. Completely and utterly right.

Ethan heard a voice from behind him, then a person put a hand on his back. He turned his head shakily and saw Cal looking concerned. He must have been listening. He must think Ethan's a terrible person. He must agree with Honey. "Ethan, let's walk and talk, yeah?" Ethan felt more tears roll down his cheeks as he sobbed weakly into his hand. He brushed off Cal's hand, stole one last painful glance at Honey (who he noticed looked both shocked and abashed), then swiftly walked out of the hospital; intending on going home. He didn't care about his shift right now. Or Mrs Beauchamp. All he cared about was forgetting his massive failure. He managed to lose two friends; two close friends, he'd messed up his chances with Honey, the only person he seemed to like (not forgetting she, once upon a time, liked him back), and he felt torn in two.

 _I can't believe you was so stupid!_  Ethan berated himself in his head.  _You_   _shouted at Honey, in front of Blake. You messed up once. Well done, Ethan. But then you had to be stupid enough to kiss Lily. On a whim! And both Honey and Blake saw you. But no, that wasn't enough for you, Ethan. You had to go and break Lily's heart. You just lost two of your closest friends. I wouldn't blame Honey if she never talked to you again. So what if you were a rebound. You could have had a proper relationship without Cal getting in the way. A proper relationship, Ethan. It could have been for real. You could have been happier once again; knowing you had someone as sweet and as caring as Honey in your life. It doesn't even matter that she was pregnant. You could have sorted things out with her. You could have been a gentleman about it if she wanted Blake back. And still you decided you would let your heart rule your head. It still wasn't even a proper rejection and you fell to pieces. Useless._

Sometimes Ethan wished he wasn't so stupid. He should be more like Cal. Instinctive as a doctor and able to be with women- and take rejection. Actually, that wasn't strictly true. Cal couldn't handle it with Taylor. But that was different. She was a con-artist. Honey was just a normal person. Ethan wished he could go back and sort everything out, but he couldn't.

The damage was done.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Just a quick note in the layout of my writing. I used to use line breakers, but I stopped (no idea why). I've suddenly wanted to start using them again, so the layout of my stories are going to change slightly. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Cal watched his brother fleeing the hospital - just about holding it together. He debated whether to follow after him, but Ethan would only push him away. Now, he needed to deal with Honey.

"Outside, now." Cal told Honey with an air of authority about him. He'd just seen his little brother trying to hold it together; and he had caught the end of what seemed like a very heated rant from the barista. He needed to find out what had happened and why it had happened.

Cal led Honey to the peace garden, but neither of them sat down. "You are going to tell me everything." It was practically a demand. He wasn't going to let up. This may be Ethan's (possible, if Ethan had even asked) girlfriend, but she hurt Ethan. No one hurts Ethan. At least, no one hurts Ethan and gets away with it.

"It's a very long story, Cal." She said, obviously trying to get out of it.

Cal eyes narrowed and he shook his head. "We have a long time," he raised his eyebrows.

He saw Honey take a deep breath in - as if she was bracing herself for something. He tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for her to start talking.

"Well… there's this guy called Blake… and, er… I dated him for a while in Manchester-"

"-what does he have to do with anything?!" He stated angrily. This was about his brother, not some Drake dood.

"Are you going to let me tell you or not?"

Cal was a little taken aback at the woman's harsh tone, so quickly amended his mistake. "Right, sorry."

Honey continued. "Then I dumped him… and I came back here. Well, I found out yesterday that I was pregnant." Cal gulped. He had a feeling he knew where this was going. "And Ethan and I aren't strictly in a relationship… so I guessed it would work out. I mean, I'm carrying my ex-boyfriend's baby!" She exclaimed. Cal had to sit down, and he saw Honey sit next to him.

"So, where is this Drake, then?"

"Blake," she corrected. "He's here…" Honey said cautiously. Cal put his head in his hands. He could just imagine how everything had blown up, "and then Ethan found out, and Blake wants to get back with me, and then Ethan kissed Lily - then told her he didn't mean it and then I got angry at him and I didn't mean to upset him that much." She ranted, taking a couple of shaky breaths at the end - that didn't go unnoticed by Cal.

"Ethan's sensitive, Honey." Cal mumbled into his hands, before lifting his head. "He doesn't know what to do now. He thought you liked him, but he finds out you're pregnant with someone else's child." Cal could only imagine how awful his little brother must be feeling.

"And the kiss with Lily?" She raised her eyebrows at him now.

"Moment of madness," he offered. "I mean, if he didn't mean it… it was probably just something he did because he thought you rejected him for someone else."

"But the things I said in my 'moment of madness', as you put it… I didn't realise they would hurt him so much," she admitted quietly.

Cal sighed, leaning back against the bench. "As much as I want to punch you right now, I guess I can understand where you're coming from. You were never to know how Ethan would react to any of this. How were you to know how sensitive he really is?" He said in defeat.

"Thank you for... um... understanding, Cal." She said gratefully.

"I'm going to find him and try and get him calm." He said after a moment or two of silence. "Maybe you could try explaining things to Lily," he chuckled.

"Yeah, like that will work," she returned, grinning.

Cal rose from the bench and bid farewell to Honey, "anyway, see you."

Ethan shakily unlocked the door to his flat (his hands were trembling so much it seemed an impossible task at first), before stumbling in, slamming the door shut, practically throwing his keys to the table in the living room, and collapsing down to the sofa - head buried in his curled up knees. He felt a sob make its way to the back of his throat. There was no one to see him cry here. Cal was still at work (probably praising Honey for her assasination of Ethan). So Ethan gave into what he had been meaning to all along. He let his tears fall and he cried. Ethan cried and cried.

But he didn't understand why he felt so low.

He'd only gone and kissed Lily while he was in a possible relationship with Honey who was pregnant with an ex-boyfriend's baby. Was that really bad? Cal had done worse in the past and he still rocked up to work with a stupid grin on his face, and before anyone knew it, he was chatting someone else up in the pub after work.

But it wasn't just that. If he was in a relationship with Honey - that meant he had cheated on her. If he wasn't, there was no harm in doing that, was there? Then why did she get so angry? Why did she talk him down, compare him to Cal, basically say he was leading her on. Ethan would never do that. He... he loved her.

Ethan  _loved_  Honey.

Had he ever felt that way about someone before? Had he ever truly loved someone like he loved Honey? There had, of course, been a few girls that he had gone out with (inevitably breaking up with him to be with his brother). Was Honey breaking up with him? Did she even have mutual feelings towards him?

What if she loved Blake still? What if she wanted to be with Cal?

Ethan shuddered.

Unless Honey  _wanted_  to be in a relationship with Ethan. Then again, so did Lily - apparently. Ethan practically led her on. He kissed her, then told her he didn't mean it. He didn't even know why he did it! She was there, and he was there... and he was just lost in a moment of complete sadness that kissing Lily seemed like the perfect way to cheer him up. Why was he so naive? He had ruined two friendships - two of his closest friendships - in a matter of minutes.

Ethan seemed to have calmed down adequately enough to stand relatively well and make his way to the kitchen to get a glass of water. It wasn't surprising that there was a half-empty bottle of vodka on the kitchen counter. Cal's doing. Ethan knew Cal had a little bit more to drink every night. Cal said it helped him sleep. Ethan had no doubts about that. But he also suspected it helped Cal to clear his mind of the one woman who was always on it. It hadn't been long since Taylor was arrested, and Cal was still very much trying to forget her.

Then Ethan had an idea.

If drinking helped Cal forget about things, then maybe Ethan needed something to help him forget about things for a while. It helped Cal.

Ethan looked at the bottle resting in his hand.

He was going to forget about everything.

He was going to get drunk.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! I'm here with another update, and I hope it lives up to expectations. It's kind of hard to write relationship stuff considering I've never been in a relationship myself, so I hope this story pleases!

Ethan drained his tenth bottle. He'd had a mixture of vodka and beer.  _Cal's_  vodka and beer. He had initially got them from the kitchen, but when they ran out, he practically turned Cal's bedroom upside down looking for his not-so-secret stash.

Ethan knew the alcohol was working. He'd nearly forgotten all about Honey and the day's events. He'd nearly forgotten how badly he messed up, how bad everything was... what a terrible person he was. He just needed needed a few more drinks and then he would've forgotten about the complete mess that was his life.

He wanted to get up and find some more, but he found he didn't have the energy. He curled his knees up to his chest while he sat on the sofa, and buried his head in his knees.

And he cried. Hard.

He had never realised how tough being in a relationship was. He should have taken the whole Cal and Taylor situation as a warning. He was sure it wasn't meant to be so... upsetting. He had known many successful relationships, and even ones that fell apart, but he was sure no one had ever felt pain like he was experiencing right now.

The fact that his possible girlfriend - someone who he admired and loved with all his heart - was pregnant with another man's (someone who Ethan had never heard off, Honey didn't even think to mention him) baby was enough to make him upset, but he'd overreacted. Honey looked as though she loved Blake... like Ethan loved her, and Ethan didn't want that. Yes, it was selfish, but Ethan wanted her to love him the way he did for her.

He thought she did, they went on a date and had a brilliant time. Then that man turned up and Honey was pregnant and it all went out the window. Not forgetting Ethan kissed Lily, and she liked him.

He screamed into his knees, sobbing harder and harder. Why did he hurt so much over such a fickle thing called 'love'? As a logical person, Ethan never understood why people were so upset if they were dumped or something, but now he had a whole new view of it. He didn't see how he would ever be able to make this right.

* * *

Cal unlocked the door to the flat and wondered whether his brother would even be home. He was heartbroken, rejected, and upset. He wouldn't go to the pub; Cal had already ruled that out. Ethan didn't do drinking, he hated the stuff. Ethan wasn't in the ED either. He must have been home - it was the only other place Ethan would go. Cal was thankful Ethan had not taken the car and driven somewhere, it wouldn't have been safe in the state he was in, and it meant he wouldn't go very far away... at least, Cal hoped.

The older brother entered and could immediately hear muffled crying, and a scream. He gulped and slowly walked towards the source, and found Ethan curled up on the sofa in the living room. Next to him were quite a few alcohol bottles. Cal sighed. Ethan never drank heavily, Only a heartbroken and devastated Ethan would do something like this.

He walked in further and knelt down in front of his little brother, placing a hand on his knee. "Ethan?" He said softly. "Ethan, look at me."

As Ethan rose his head, Cal was shocked. He looked so much younger, so much more vulnerable, so  _fragile_. He had tear tracks on his cheeks, tears still steadily making their way down his pale face, he kept sniffing, he was trembling, and his hair was an absolute mess. Cal decided to ignore the strong stench of alcohol on his brother for now, he'd deal with that later, along with the monster of a hangover Ethan would have.

He wondered whether it was the drink that caused Ethan's emotional state. He was obviously very upset, but maybe it just amplified it a little.

"What were you thinking, Ethan?!" Cal breathed. He wasn't angry at his little brother, but if Cal hadn't arrived when he did (and thank goodness he did), Ethan may have drunk himself into a coma.

"I wanted to forget..." Ethan sobbed, more tears falling. There was a pause in which Cal could hear Ethan's sobs. "Why am I such a terrible person?" His strained voice asked, and Caleb could see Ethan's face desperately wanting answers. It was like Cal held all the answers to every question ever asked. Nevertheless, he was taken aback. Not only because Ethan barely ever asked personal questions to Cal, but also because of the content of the question he'd just asked.

"You aren't aren't a terrible person, Ethan." He tried to reassure his brother, but it didn't work.

"I am!" Ethan shouted, throwing his head back down to his knees, crying and screaming like the world was ending. Cal guessed it probably felt like that for Ethan right now - it certainly did after Taylor was revealed as a con-artist.

Cal sat next to Ethan on the sofa and practically uncurled Ethan himself. He brought Ethan's head to his lap and stroked his hair while Ethan cried and screamed and sobbed his heart out.

They were both grown men now, but Ethan was so vulnerable and childlike that Cal could think the only way of calming him down was by comforting Ethan the way their mother did to them as children.

"It's okay, Ethan. Everything will be alright," he said soothingly, repeating this phrase over and over and over again. Ethan was trembling, Cal noted, and seemed as broken as you could get.

He scanned around him, there were a lot of empty alcohol bottles, and Cal knew they'd come from his stash. He wondered to what length Ethan had gone to get Cal's alcohol - it was put away quite well.

Cal did not want to see what Ethan had moved in his bedroom.

Finally, after what felt like a century, Ethan was calming.

"Let's get you off to bed, yeah?" He asked, and felt Ethan nod. He helped his weak and drunk brother stand and supported him to his bed, where the younger practically collapsed down and fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Cal smiled at his brother's sleeping form, before grabbing some water, paracetamol, and a bowl for when the inevitable started to happen. Cal blew out a concerned breath, Ethan's hangover would be so bad Cal would probably feel it too.

After ten minutes of watching his brother sleep, Cal decided he had to go back to work. Connie wouldn't like it if both he and Ethan were off work. At least Cal could cover for his brother this way, instead of him and Ethan being unaccounted for. As reluctant as he was to leave Ethan, he'd probably sleep for a decade.

He made sure to leave Ethan a note by the side of his bed, making sure Ethan would know he could call whenever he wanted.

Cal slowly made his way back to work, praying he could help. He wasn't the best person to help with relationships, but Honey was his friend, Noel, her father, was his friend, Lily (who Cal would no doubt have to find before she found him) was his friend, and Ethan was his brother.

Whether he wanted to get involved in this sticky situation or not, he had a duty to help.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for such a positive response on the last chapter, and I have a slightly longer one for you today, and I hope you like it.

"Please, just talk to him!" Cal begged Honey, trying to make sure everything was okay between Honey and his brother. After all, they did work in the same ED, and the last thing Cal wanted was both Honey and Ethan being uneasy. He didn't really know why he wanted to help Honey after what a mess she'd caused for his brother - but seeing how happy Ethan was with her made Cal want to help.

"For the last time: no."

"Please, Honey! All you need to do is work things out with him. It's not that bad, you can sort it out."

Honey sighed. "It's not as simple as that, Cal." Then she started whispering - causing Cal to lean in closer in order to hear her. "I'm pregnant - remember? With my ex-boyfriends child."

"Yes, but do you want to go out with that man again?" Cal pressed, widening his eyes as he raised his eyebrows.

There was a pause, but before Honey could speak - her attention was turned to Connie who'd come for a coffee. Cal stepped aside as the barista served the clinical lead.

"Shouldn't you be somewhere, Dr Knight?" She said, eyebrows raised.

"Um - no, no. I don't think so."

"Get back to work, Dr Knight, instead of flirting with the staff." As Connie strutted off, Cal had no chance to correct her comment, so faced Honey again.

"So? Do you?"

"I don't know, Cal." The frustration in her voice leaked through, but Cal couldn't bring himself to care. "I kinda do. He was okay to me. Not the best boyfriend in the world - he had some… anger issues, but he was alright to me."

"Anger issues?" Cal picked out, and Honey looked uncomfortable.

"Look, Cal. I like your brother," she evaded, "he's a good guy - but it's obvious he doesn't care about me. Maybe he should just be with Lily. Both she and Ethan want that."

Another person interrupted, stopping them from continuing their conversation, and Cal saw Honey's expression change to worry as she looked over his shoulder. He span around and saw just why.

"What the hell are you doing here, Ethan?" Cal sighed, rubbing his forehead.

"Seeing Honey." He slurred, tripping over his own feet and nearly falling clumsily to the ground. Cal had to rush forward to keep his drunk brother upright, but he was soon pushed back.

"You should have stayed in bed," he stated tiredly, as if his energy had all drained out of him.

"I fancied... a drink - there's no harm... in that." Cal sighed again. His brother was drunk. Well and truly drunk.

"I thought he doesn't drink?" Honey muttered from behind him.

"He doesn't." Cal replied, still not taking his eyes off of Ethan, who's eyes were darting around wildly.

"Then why is he drunk?"

"Why do you think?" Cal huffed, watching as Ethan swayed unsteadily on his feet. He had to admit, as much as he liked getting Ethan to have a drink or two, he hated how drunk Ethan was. It changed him into a completely different person - which was the reason why Ethan never drank anything. He hated how it lowered your inhibitions and impaired your judgment, and for Ethan, changed him.

"Ethan, come on. Let's go home, yeah?" He suggested. Ethan really needed to sleep it off, and Cal was determined to stay with him so he wouldn't take a 'trip' out again.

"Dr Knight, Dr Hardy: is there a reason why you both seem to be doing no work today?" Connie hissed, coming up behind them. Cal wished the ground would swallow him up, but Ethan didn't even seem to notice the presence of his boss.

"Mrs Beauchamp, we have a slight... situation." He tried his best to excuse Ethan, but the clinical lead shushed him.

"I don't care how you live your lives, or who dates who, but being drunk on a shift doesn't sit well with me or Hanssen."

"You don't get it," Cal opposed, instantly regretting it.

"Oh, be sure to tell me tomorrow in my office. First thing. Now get your wasted brother home and sobered up. I'll organise cover for you." Cal didn't know whether she was being kind, or whether she just meant they were both being ordered to go home and maybe suspended after tomorrow morning. It didn't matter. Ethan had to get home.

"Come on, Ethan," Cal coaxed as Connie left. "Home?"

"I need to see... my Honey cupcake," he said, winking. Honey laughed and Cal smirked.

"You can see her tomorrow. You're in no fit state to do anything now." Cal told him, but he could see he was getting nowhere.

"No!" Ethan protested weakly, "I have to… see Honey" He grinned at the barista who looked at Cal worriedly. "I came to say," he slurred, "that you… are the most beautiful person… ever... " He giggled slightly.

Cal was over smirking at his brother's expense. He really needed to get Ethan home.

"Okay, you said it. You've seen her. Now let's go home." He tugged on his brother's arm, nearly tipping him over in the process, and Ethan reluctantly followed. Cal kept a firm grasp on his shoulders - just in case.

"Car." Ethan told him, fumbling around in his pocket for something. Cal's eyes widened considerably when he pulled out the car keys.

"You drove here?" He almost shouted once they were out in the car park. "Ethan! You're drunk!"

"Don't worry... didn't crash into anything… maybe a tree." He laughed again and Cal wanted to slap him. Then he reminded himself that Ethan was drunk and very stupid. As they made their way to the car, Cal could see a dent where Ethan must have clipped a tree. He was regretting deciding to walk to work after going home earlier in the day. If he'd just taken the car...

"Alright Nibbles, come on." He helped his brother climb into the passenger seat and was relieved no one was injured by his brother's drunk driving. That didn't ease the feeling he had probably gone through some red lights or had been speeding. No doubt they'd get a fine.

Once in the car, Ethan seemed to calm down. He rested his head against the window and stared outside. Cal was glad for the peace and quiet.

* * *

When they managed to  _finally_ make it inside the house, Cal continued to help Ethan to his bedroom and even stretched to tucking him in. He was surprised the bowl that he left out earlier was empty; no doubt it wasn't going to stay like that for much longer.

Then, Cal decided to venture into his own room - and as he suspected, it was a tip. He knew he had caused most of the mess, but there were more things everywhere, and his alcohol stash (used  _strictly_  in emergencies) was raided. He decided to leave the mess for when he was in a better mood. He couldn't be bothered to tidy it up.

Instead, he made his way to the kitchen, made himself a coffee, and sat at the kitchen table - wondering just how to fix his brother's emotions. No doubt when he was sober he would fix it himself, but Cal needed to help.

* * *

No less than half an hour later, Cal was still sitting at the table with a cold coffee. He'd been so lost in his thoughts he hadn't even registered that the drink was still full. He, in truth, wanted to go to sleep - but decided against it in case Ethan needed him.

Speaking of Ethan, Cal decided to make his way to his brother's room to see if he was still sleeping peacefully. As he opened the door, it took a moment for his to register that his brother's breathing wasn't regular. He ran to his brother's side and kicked himself for being so stupid. With the amount of alcohol Ethan had drunk in such a short period of time, alcohol poisoning was very likely to happen.

He quickly rolled his brother onto his side, hoping being on his back didn't harm him in anyway. Ethan started coughing, but soon stopped. Cal had tears in his eyes as he realised how close to choking on his own vomit Ethan had become. He thrust the bowl as near to Ethan's head as he could and watched as the contents of - mostly alcohol - emptied into the bowl. He was glad, in a twisted way, that Ethan was unconscious. It meant he wouldn't have to experience this. But he needed to be conscious, because if he wasn't, that meant this was more serious than Cal thought.

He couldn't have alcohol poisoning, could he?

He hoped his brother didn't. It would mean going to the ED - and that meant when Ethan was conscious, he would be  _very_ embarrassed.

_Shut up! Ethan's health is more important._

It was either risk Ethan becoming seriously unwell, or risk the extreme embarrassment that Ethan would feel. Despite how angry Ethan would be at Cal, he decided to ring for an ambulance - it would probably be quicker than taking him in the car. He slipped his phone out of his pocket, not realising how much his hands were shaking. Even pressing 999 took about three tries; his fingers going all over the place.

"It's okay, Ethan. It'll be alright," he soothed his unconscious brother after ringing for an ambulance. He knew Ethan couldn't hear him, but he didn't need to. This helped the anxious older brother.

Cal tilted Ethan's head back slightly to open his airway - and was thankful he wasn't being sick still. He tried to recall Ethan's symptoms that would point towards alcohol poisoning, but his brain was in such a mess that he couldn't diagnose him.

No less than ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door, and Cal heard someone shout "paramedics!". He wasn't sure whether to be thankful or mortified that it was Iain's voice.

He shouted back, "it's unlocked!" and heard them rush in.

Cal gulped. He was starting to feel guilty - God knows how Ethan would feel when he woke up and found out what happened.

"Cal? What's happened, mate?" Iain asked as he and Dixie burst into the bedroom, kneeling beside Ethan.

"I don't know." He answered.

"Come on, Cal." Dixie encouraged.

"I don't… I think he has alcohol poisoning," he chose to ignore the paramedic's shocked faces, "I can't be sure… he's been sick. I - er - he nearly choked… he was lying on his back… he could have died. Oh… my… he nearly… he could have -"

"- okay, Cal." Dixie interjected, cutting off his rambling. "How much has he had to drink?" She asked carefully, checking his airway.

"I don't know… a lot. You can see in the living room." Cal watched as Iain ran to the living room, then continued watching the door until Iain returned.

"A lot, Dix. Like - a lot."

Dixie sighed. "Okay, thanks Iain. We need to get him in, Cal."

He nodded, "yeah… just… help him."

"That's what we're here for," Iain joked with a grim smile. "How long has he been unconscious?"

Cal hesitated, he didn't know. Why was he being so useless?

"Cal!" Dixie persisted, taking Ethan's pulse while Iain placed an oxygen mask on him.

"I don't know. Half an hour tops." He said frantically, watching as Ethan's breathing slowed further. "Is it… is it alcohol poisoning?"

There was silence for a few seconds where Dixie and Iain did a couple more things and looked at each other. "Probably." Iain replied.

* * *

Finally, they were in the ambulance. The blues were on, the sirens blaring, and they were speeding down the streets to Holby ED. Cal had barely said anything - there was nothing  _to_  say. His brother was unwell with possible alcohol poisoning over a broken heart. This was the sort of thing Cal would do - not Ethan. Never Ethan. Cal just wished Honey wasn't pregnant. If she wasn't pregnant, Blake wouldn't have turned up, and Honey and Ethan could live happily ever after.

But would that have solved the problem with Lily, and her apparent feelings for Ethan?

Cal blew out a long breath. This is why he stayed away from the opposite sex.

He continued to watch Ethan, trying to figure out what his condition was, but his mind was clouded with worry and guilt. Guilt because he should have realised, or at least predicted, this would happen.

As Dixie adjusted the saline drip, Cal leaned back against the ambulance and closed his eyes - wishing for all the drama, and everything else, to be over.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Thank you, as always, for reviewing last chapter. I'm glad you are enjoying this story so far, and I hope you continue to do so.

The shock of Cal seeing Ethan in such a state had worn off, and now Cal was watching his brother being wheeled through to Resus. Dixie was reeling off Ethan's condition mechanically, while Connie and Robyn followed along - listening intently to every word, yet showing no signs they were surprised to see the patient was Ethan. They were being professionals and distancing themselves. Cal could only wish he could do the same and not be so affected by the fact his little brother had drunk so much he could have killed himself.

He could hear Honey trying to get his attention from behind him, but he didn't want to deal with her yet. He was too busy worrying about Ethan to care about over-complicated girlfriend problems. It still baffled him that Ethan could have a girlfriend, let alone have these sorts of problems. Cal had never had to deal with anything like this. Then again, he'd never stuck around anyone long enough. There was only Taylor...

He wasn't going to go into that. She was gone and forgotten, and right now all that mattered was Ethan and his problems that Cal was determined to sort out. If he couldn't be happy - he could try and help Ethan be.

Cal spun round on his heels, coming face to face with Honey. She looked upset and desperate, eyes darting between Cal and the direction of Resus. "He'll be okay, won't he?" she asked worriedly, gazing at Cal with pleading brown eyes.

Cal sighed. "I don't know, Honey," he said truthfully, glancing back at Resus himself and noticing the way his colleagues - his friends - worked around his brother. "Hopefully."

"This is my fault, isn't it?" she wailed, bursting into tears and burying her head in her hands. Cal looked at her for a couple of seconds, before awkwardly wrapping his arms around her petite body. He felt her head rest against his chest as she took away her arms from her face and wrapped them around him instead, clinging onto him as if she was falling.

Cal rubbed her back up and down, hoping to comfort her quickly so he could have a sensible conversation with her. It served two purposes if he could. He could distract himself from knowing Ethan was lying unconscious in a Resus bay, and he could try and help Honey and Ethan be happy. Whether on not they were happy  _and dating_ was another matter that he could sort out afterwards.

Cal jumped slightly when he felt someone tap his shoulder. Hope filled him when he speculated it was someone telling him Ethan was alright, but it quickly faded when a welsh voice said, "another boyfriend, Honey?" It was laced with anger and frustration. Cal had no choice but to let Honey go and turn around.

"Blake!" Honey exclaimed tearfully, "no, of course not. This is Cal - Ethan's brother."

Blake was about to talk, but Cal got there first. "Look, maybe we should take this somewhere more private?"

* * *

Cal was standing by the locked on-call room door, facing Honey and Blake who were sitting beside each other on the bed. He should have been in the staffroom waiting to hear news on Ethan's condition, but he needed to distract himself from chewing his lip in half.

"This is going to be sorted out, and it's going to be sorted out now," Cal said harshly, looking between Honey and Blake. "Neither of you are leaving  _until_  it's sorted."

"We can just push you out of the way," Blake threatened, narrowing his eyes at Cal.

"You could, yes. Of course you could. But then when does it get sorted?"

"Fair enough," Blake muttered, and Cal smiled to himself.

Cal cleared his throat to try and rid the lump of emotion that had formed. He should have been with Ethan - but he'd have probably been told to leave Resus while they worked on his brother. "Honey. You are pregnant with Blake's baby, correct?" She looked confused but nodded. "Blake, would you like to get back with Honey?"

He slipped his hand inside of Honey's, and she didn't reject. "Of course."

Cal breathed deeply, dreading the rest of the conversation. "Honey, do you want to get back with Blake? Or do you want to try with Ethan?"

She looked genuinely torn, and Cal couldn't help but feel sorry for her. "I want to... I mean, Ethan's a nice guy... but Blake is the father. Ethan  _did_ kiss Lily..." she trailed off, wiping her falling tears with her free hand.

"Come on, Honey," Blake encouraged.

"I'm sorry, Cal. I think... I think it would be best if I was with Blake."

Cal's eyebrows knitted together. She sounded reluctant and didn't look at Blake, despite their hands being interlocked. He felt his heart clench for Ethan. He loved Honey so much. "Honey, please. Think about this. Remember all those feelings for Ethan? Everything you felt?"

She hesitated. "That was before I found out I was pregnant," she whispered. "I am doing the decent thing. The right thing. Ethan shouted at me and kissed Lily - and I don't think I can forgive that. Blake is the father of my baby, and he... he wouldn't go kissing another girl the second he gets a chance."

Cal gulped, feeling his own eyes gather with tears. He was unsure whether it was because he should be with his brother, or because Honey was rejecting his brother. He was about to try and convince her, but Honey looked at Cal. Cal knew she was certain. He knew that Ethan wouldn't be able to get her back.

* * *

"Ethan?" Cal asked warily as he pulled back the curtain to his brother's cubicle. "You okay?"

Ethan smiled weakly, "dandy."

Cal was shocked at how pale his brother was. He was hooked up to a couple of machines, and had saline being pumped into him. "Honestly, Ethan?"

His little brother smiled slightly. "Not too great. Been sick a lot. Got a headache. And I am so, so tired."

Cal sat down, the corner's of his mouth twitching upwards in a half-smile. "That's karma for raiding my stash," he joked in a weak attempt to lighten the mood.

"Cal... how's Honey?" he asked carefully, fiddling with the bed sheet and not looking at Cal.

Cal knew this wasn't the right time to tell Ethan. He was in hospital after poisoning himself because of a broken heart. Anyway, it had to come from Honey herself.

"Fine, Eth. Just focus on getting better yourself. She'll probably come and see you." Cal could almost guarantee it.

She'd visit him to reject him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! We're over half-way now, and I hope to post the rest regularly (knowing me, that probably won't happen) and finish it by the end of March. Here's hoping anyway. Surprisingly, even though this has dragged on a bit, I'm still enjoying writing it - so I hope you're still enjoying reading it.
> 
> Thank you again for your continued support on this story - as a writer (and those who also write will understand this), getting feedback is both helpful and motivating. Anyway, I hope you like the next chapter!

"How do you feel now, Ethan?" Connie asked as she flicked through his notes. He held his head down slightly, aware his cheeks were turning pink (and not for the first time that day).

"Like I could die from embarrassment."

"Yes, that is to be expected..." she smiled, "but I don't think that's a medical condition,  _Dr_ Hardy. How do you feel apart from that?"

Ethan shrugged helplessly, "okay. Better than earlier."

"Good. Well, I'm happy with how your condition has improved: your obs are good, so as long as you get rest and keep your fluids up, I'm happy to send you home… just no imitating your brother in the future," she joked a little, before walking off and shutting the curtain - only for it to be opened a moment later by Cal.

"Little brother -"

"- don't you dare make another joke. I've heard enough to last me a lifetime," he complained, and Cal smiled devilishly.

"I'll drink to that!"

"Caleb," Ethan sighed, and Cal started to laugh.

It stopped suddenly, however, as the curtain to the cubicle was whipped open and Honey stood there.

"I'll leave you two to it," Cal said, giving Ethan a small smile and walking out, shutting the curtain behind them - giving them some air of privacy.

Ethan sat up a little straighter, "H-Honey... hi."

"Can I?" she asked, motioning to the end of the bed.

"Sure," Ethan replied simply, knowing exactly what to say to Honey. It was crucial he got it right, he couldn't mess this up. This was possibly his last chance to speak to Honey and explain properly. If he got her back, that would be an added bonus.

"We need to talk, Ethan. Like adults. Which we both are."

Ethan knew what she was insinuating. He had acted very immaturely about all of this (also very like Cal), which didn't help matters at all.

"I agree, and let me start this off by saying that I'm sorry. I really am Honey. What happened was... well, you know. Everything I said and did, I regret it deeply. I shouldn't have shouted, but we had only just started  _finally_ getting along and we were talking... we'd been out together."

"How does that justify your reaction, though?" Honey said, sounding like she was loosing patience - even though the conversation had only just started.

Ethan hesitated; he really didn't know. Honey gave him a 'look'. The type of look that said 'get on with it we haven't got all day'.

"I don't know."

Honey snorted.

"I don't, Honey! I was angry; angry that there was this other man and you didn't tell me about him. I know that was wrong, but in the small amount of time that you were back in Manchester, you could so easily find someone else. Then I was annoyed; annoyed because I thought this meant we were over... before we had even begun. Then I was scared; scared I was going to lose you. Scared that I wasn't good enough for you if you could be with someone else after what happened between us before you went back. Please, Honey. You have to believe me. I just didn't know what to do, so the only way I could deal with that was  _not_ dealing with it. I was running away from it... just like my brother."

"You didn't have to shout."

"Everything just came on top of me. Blake was standing there, and I just saw red."

"You still kissed Lily," she stated accusingly.

"I don't know what happened. She was there, and  _I_ was there... and it just happened," Ethan tried, but Honey didn't seem to believe him. "I know you won't forgive me, but we will be working together. I don't want things to be awkward between us. And maybe... maybe I could have another chance. I know I don't deserve it after the way I treated you, but -"

"- Ethan, shut up. Just shhh. I need to tell you something."

Ethan smiled, "sounds ominous."

Honey didn't smile, she looked serious. Really serious. "Me and Blake are giving it another shot."

He sat there, shocked. For a moment, it seemed his mouth dried up and he couldn't form any words. Then he had the power to speak again. "Why?"

"Because we lik... love each other."

"If you love each other, why did we go out together? Why did we, Honey?"

"He was in Manchester, I was here!" she said defensively.

"You could have had a long-distance relationship!"

"What, so like after our kiss? You didn't even  _text_ me until I made contact with you. You didn't even try! Then I move back here and look what happens. You're interested again. So now  _you're_ saying stuff against long-distance relationships?"

"I-I didn't mean it like that..." he tried, but it was clear the conversation was over. She got up swiftly and walked out, leaving Ethan a broken-hearted child-like-man on the bed.

* * *

"You have to eat something, Ethan," Cal persisted - watching as Ethan twirled his fork around in the spaghetti, but making no move to eat it. "Keep your strength up. You've only just come out of hospital."

"Not hungry," he mumbled, placing his fork down and resting his head on his hand, looking completely dejected.

"Come on, Eth. It's not the end of the world," he said encouragingly, moving his chair a little closer, sensing his brother would need comfort.

"Yes it is."

Cal carefully and slowly slipped his arm around Ethan, relieved when he made no move to shrug him off. "It's not. At least she didn't con you and take all your mon... your  _brother's_ money."

Ethan gave a small smile, before tears dripped down his cheeks and he started sobbing. "It wasn't meant to be like this, Cal! It wasn't meant to be this hard," he cried, turning into Cal's chest and wrapping his arms around Cal's neck.

"It's okay, Nibbles. It's okay. Shhh. It's okay," Cal comforted. "There are lots more people, Eth. Trust me. I should know."

"I love her, Cal!" sobbed Ethan. "I just want to turn back time!"

"I know. But you can't. It may have been for the best. Maybe, in the long-run, you'll see everything turned out well. It's hard now, and it will be hard for a while, but it  _will_ get easier. You will feel better soon, Nibbles. I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," he whimpered.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about my complete inactivity on this site. I won't bother you too much with the details, but my mental health took a real dip for a while. But I'm back again and hopefully will be for some time, until it inevitably happens again! I said this would be finished around the end of March, and hopefully I can stick to that. Just a warning - this should end around the chapter 19 or 20 mark. Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter! I hope you enjoy this one.

Ethan was sat in the staffroom, just having gotten changed for the start of his shift - yet he couldn't bring himself to move and work. Everything he did seem to take away his energy, not that it felt like he had any energy anyway.

After his week off, all Ethan wanted to do was have another week off. Maybe two… even three. Cal had told him he'd feel better - using the situation with Taylor as an example that you could get over someone. Ethan didn't have the energy to contradict Cal, or to remind him that he still had to work in the same department as Honey. Taylor was completely out of sight. And it was as they said: out of sight, out of mind.

It was safe to say, Ethan wouldn't be getting his coffee from Honey anymore. Despite the fact Honey's coffee was surprisingly good (he put that down to drinking it so as not to upset her, to eventually getting used to the taste), seeing Honey was still a definite no.

There was still a tiny part of him that wanted to see Honey everyday; that wanted to still feel those wonderful things she made him feel. Even though he knew those feelings would not be returned, he missed feeling like that. He missed feeling special - because without Honey, he wasn't really anybody special. She made him feel happier; care-free; like he could do anything. Now all he could do was sleep, and even that required some amount of effort in the state he was in. He would go to Honey especially if he was having a really tiring day, and especially before she moved away. He remembered before Honey went to Manchester, he would use any excuse to go to her and get a coffee, but now he had to find any excuse not to go to her. Any excuse not to be anywhere  _near_  her.

He threw his head back against the sofa, contemplating moving but not. Even thinking about moving made him tired.

"Connie is on the warpath, Nibbles," Cal told him as he entered the staffroom. Ethan tiredly lifted his head to look at his brother, but found unwanted tears pooling in his eyes at the prospect of walking out of the staffroom and possibly seeing Honey - or worse, the man who stole her from him. He'd managed to avoid Honey when he entered the building (he did have to hide behind a couple of things), but now he had to work through an entire shift trying to avoid her. Her and her tea-trolley that appeared everywhere.

He put his head back down, this time resting it in his hands and enjoying the darkness. He felt Cal sit beside him and slip an arm around his shoulders, but made no move to shrug it off - whether that was due to lack of energy or because it was slightly comforting, Ethan didn't know. And thinking about it made his head ache. Actually, everything made his head ache.

"The sooner you get out there, the sooner you'll get over her. Trust me, Ethan. So what if you bump into her? I have told you a million - no, make that a billion times - it gets it done and over with. Then you don't have to worry about it further."

Ethan didn't have a response at first, that would require effort. But eventually, he lifted his head up, and spoke. "Like you're such an expert, Caleb," Ethan said bitterly.

Cal didn't look offended, he looked worried. Again, Ethan couldn't be bothered to contemplate that further. "One word, no wait - one name. Lily." And with that, Ethan saw Cal stand up and leave the staffroom, shutting the door behind him and leaving Ethan in semi-silence. The noises of the ED still weren't cut off completely, and that just reminded Ethan that he'd have to work eventually. Especially if Connie was 'on the warpath' - as Cal put it.

He knew his brother had a point about Lily (not that he'd give Cal the satisfaction about knowing that) - Cal did once sleep with Lily before it inevitably went wrong. Then again a certain bet did have something to do with it. It wasn't exactly love like it was with Honey.

_Love…_

Ethan vowed never to use that word again.

* * *

After finally mustering up the courage to step out of the staffroom, Ethan found himself face-to-face with the one person he didn't want to see.

"Coffee?" Honey asked sweetly, already pouring him one. Ethan would have said no: the coffee would have brought back unwanted memories. But even seeing her smile, that wonderful smile that made his heart jump, brought back feelings and memories he had never experienced with anyone else before. "Here you go - just how you like it."

He would have said thank you when taking it, but his mouth had dried up and he didn't have the words. He licked his lips but that did nothing, so instead, he sipped his oh-so-perfect coffee and nodded his thanks.

"I know you've got to get on with your work and that -" Ethan would have stopped her right there, but the power of speech didn't return to him and now his legs weren't co-operating with his brain. "- but I need to tell you something. I don't want us to be weird around each other, Babes- Ethan. I mean Ethan. Dr Hardy…. Me and Blake -"

"- do I feel my ears burning?" a Welsh voice asked from around the corner - as if he'd been waiting there the entire time. Blake walked around and hugged Honey from behind. Ethan didn't miss the way Honey hesitated before turning around and hugging him back.

"Babes, not here. It's a workplace," Honey mentioned, and Blake let go of her.

Ethan wondered why Honey would say that - she and Ethan never had any problems with that sort of thing in the ED. Then again, he supposed, Ethan was a respected doctor - so open affection wouldn't have been as much of a problem. Honey was a fellow colleague after all. But, the rational part of Ethan's brain reasoned, that shouldn't make a difference.

"So, talking about me - where you?" Blake asked, smirking and pecking Honey on the cheek.

Ethan wanted to be sick. This was Honey. This was the girl he was head-over-heels in ' _The L Word_ ' with. Seeing her being all romantic with another man made him jealous and angry and guilty and annoyed. He knew this was all his fault, but what did Blake have that he didn't? Ethan was a doctor… what did Blake even do as a job?

He knew he shouldn't be thinking like that, he never would usually. But Honey was so incredibly special to him and meant to much to him that he couldn't  _not_ think this way.

"Not really. I was just sorting things out with Eth- Dr Hardy," she paused, looking unsure of herself, before speaking again. "So if you wouldn't mind…" she casually suggested, but Blake didn't seem to get the hint to leave. Instead, he got the complete wrong end of the stick.

"Yes, alright. Honey and I are happy together, so maybe you should stay out of our way? Okay, Doctor? That would be best for all of us, I think. It wouldn't cause Honey any stress, what with the baby and everything…"

The power of speech seemed to return to Ethan in an instant, anger boiled up inside of him. What in the world gave Blake the right to tell him to keep away from Honey? And using the baby as an excuse! His retort was on the tip of his tongue, but Honey must have seen something in him and shook her head slightly, warning him not to say anything.

So all Ethan did was nod. His legs started to work again and he walked off - not giving a second glance to the happy couple.

He was going to stay away from them anyway… but Blake didn't have any right to tell him what to do. Then again, if Blake had done everything Ethan did to Honey, and Ethan and Honey were together, Ethan probably would have thought the same thing. He'd want to protect Honey.

Being on the receiving end, though, wasn't fun.

* * *

"Come on, Ethan. You barely said two words to anyone, apart from the patients, the entire shift!" Cal exclaimed as they both got in the car. "The least you can do is tell me what's going on." He paused. "I know this whole break-up is getting to you, but you weren't this quiet at home."

"And how would you know how much I've said?" Ethan shot back, looking out the window as Cal pulled out.

"Connie asked me to shadow you. That's all. I may have, admittedly, taken it a little too far and followed you around the whole day," he laughed, "but you're my brother and it's my duty to make sure you're alright." He turned to Ethan while they were waiting to go out onto the main road. "I saw you and Blake, and Honey, earlier. Is that why? You bump into them and then you clam up for the rest of the shift?"

"Caleb!" Ethan almost shouted, aware of the other driver letting Cal out and Cal completely ignoring him.

Cal sighed. "I'm going, I'm going. Now no more backseat driving, please," he joked, making Ethan smile lightly. "So, tell me. Talk to your big bro. What happened?"

Ethan was half-considering lying, but before he could think of something, he heard himself talking. "Blake told me to stay away from Honey and him."

"I don't get it. You were going to anyway."

"That's not the point, though! He said I would cause Honey stress and then he mentioned their baby! As if to say 'Ethan stay away from us or you'll cause harm to our baby'. I mean, really? And it's the way he said it. It was so protective. He butted in on our conversation, too. I mean, I wasn't talking it was Honey, but still, Cal. Who does he think he is? He takes Honey away from me and he's only been here five minutes. What does he have? Eh? What right does he have? And do you know how many times I saw him today… actually, you were there. Anyway, he's hanging around like a foul odour -"

"- Ethan, shut up," he said, cutting of his rambling. "Look, I know you lov -"

"I do not… feel that way. I don't."

"Yes you do, Ethan. It is so obvious that you love her. If you didn't, you wouldn't be so bothered about all of this. Let me give you some advice."

"No," he said. "No more advice or tips or helping hints. I'm sick of it, Cal. You are not helping. If anything, you're making me feel worse. Now, if you don't mind, stop holding up the traffic  _again_  because you're on a green light and you aren't moving, and get me home. Then let me sleep."


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you ever so much for your lovely reviews! I hope you continue to like this. Also, sorry for the time skips in this chapter and the previous one. I am so terrible at writing normal life without the plot or anything (if that makes sense, which is probably why my stories are always roughly 20k words or less). I am trying to get better at it, but for now I have to use time skips!

Seeing Blake everywhere was making Ethan reluctant to attend work. He thought, the day he returned, that seeing Blake would be a one off - but he was constantly hanging around. Coupled with that, Honey would look at him with loving eyes, she would make sure everyone knew how happy she was… it seemed she was doing everything that made Ethan jealous. And he doubted she even knew that she created that effect.

And now, a week later, the anger; the jealousy; the sadness; the loneliness… it was all constantly there, in the back of his mind and the pit of his stomach. It probably would never go away.

"…we'll get an x-ray done of your wrist: just to confirm the brake, and then we'll go from there," Ethan informed his patient. "There'll be a porter along soon, okay?" His patient nodded and thanked him, before Ethan left the cubicle and drew the curtain behind him.

"Ah, Max. Patient in Cubicle Four for you. Would you mind taking him to x-ray?"

"No problemo," Max replied with a smile, making Ethan smile slightly too.

Max walked off and Ethan went to collect this next patient, but he didn't get very far when he noticed Honey. Not just Honey - Honey, Blake, and a cut on her face; under her left eye. At first, he didn't know what to think - but his eyes landed on Blake and he came to one conclusion straight away.

* * *

He'd done this many times before with patients, some clammed up and some spilled everything. But his instincts were barely ever wrong. He had been wrong once or twice, but that once or twice meant nothing in his career in which he'd been right many times. It was a simple question but it had to be broached carefully. Usually, he would ask someone else to do the talking - he never did it very well. But this was different. This was Honey.

"Honey, may I have a word with you please?" He glanced towards Blake, who was standing at her side. "In private."

"Anything you say to Honey, you can say to me. We have no secrets," Blake answered.

Ethan had the urge to mention that every couple has secrets. Otherwise Honey would've told Ethan about Blake.

"No, it's fine, darlin'. I'll only be a sec'," Honey said, and Blake nodded - though Ethan could see his reluctance. That only made his suspicions grow. It could have been because Ethan was her ex-boyfriend and Blake didn't want them going anywhere in private, but he discarded that thought. It wasn't that. It couldn't have been that.

They both walked to a secluded corridor, and Ethan looked both ways before starting to talk. "Right, well _…_ I don't really know how to put this." He paused, really wishing he had the nerve to come straight out with his question. Erm, yes. Honey… how, er, how did you injure -"

"- my face?" she interrupted. "Don't worry. I've been asked that loads today."

"Oh?"

"I walked into the corner of an open cupboard. It was stupid; I wasn't looking where I was going and I bashed into it. Right idiot, or what?"

"No, no of course not." Ethan didn't know whether he was imagining her over-confidence or it was really there. Now he was starting to think he was imagining everything - he'd walked into a cupboard before and got exactly the same injury _…_ but if there was any chance that Blake was hurting her, he  _was_ going to find out, and he  _was_ going to report him.

"I get why you're asking. Me and Blake are happy, and you should start to accept that. Everyone else likes him."

"That's because everyone else didn't get dumped by you for Blake," he muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing…. You better get back to your boyfriend. Wouldn't want to hold him up, would you? He can't seem to stand five seconds without you."

* * *

"As long as you continue to take these twice a day," he gave the packet of tablets to his patient, "until the pain goes, you should be fine. If the pain in your stomach gets worse, come back."

"Thank you, Doctor," she said as she left the cubicle, leaving Ethan standing there - mind wandering to Honey and Blake.

He supposed he shouldn't keep thinking about them. He'd been distracted when he was with and without patients, and had seen half the number he usually got through.  _And_ a couple of his patients nearly breached despite the lack of them. He couldn't  _not_ think of Honey and Blake, though.

And the cut on Honey's face was haunting him. He knew the most likely explanation was walking into a cupboard, but he couldn't stand to think of Honey in danger.

"Dr Hardy," came a deep voice from behind him. Ethan spun 'round and saw Blake standing before him. "Can I talk to you quickly."

A voice in Ethan's head was screaming 'no', but- "of course."

He was expecting them to walk out of the cubicle, to the staffroom or the reception area. But Blake shut the curtain and stepped towards Ethan, causing him to step back instinctively.

"So, why did you ask Honey about her face?" He sounded calm enough, maybe even too calm.

He didn't expect Honey to tell him, but Ethan never asked her not to… and they were going out.

He should have predicted it.

"You're direct!" Ethan tried to joke to calm his own nerves, but Blake didn't seem amused. He looked at him expectantly. "Right, well I'm a doctor, and when I see something suspicious -"

"- stay away from her," he spat. "I did  _nothing_ to her, you hear me? Nothing. I know why you asked her. You want to split Honey and me up. I'm not an idiot, Ethan. So, man to man," his voice went calm again, "just leave us alone." And with that, he walked out.

Ethan noted how quick the conversation actually was - Blake was true to his word - to try and flatten his nerves, but it didn't make him feel any better or happier. He just felt threatened and it escalated his suspicious.

If he was Blake, he would tell himself to stay away. To the outside person, it looked like Ethan was jealous and wanted Honey back. But Ethan had a  _feeling_ , and he needed to make sure it was a simple relationship and not one in which Honey was getting hurt.

* * *

" _Dinner, Ethan! It's not burnt this time, too!_ " Cal called from the kitchen, and although Ethan was starving, he felt too tired to move from his bed. His thoughts were whirling around at 100mph in his head, and even he was having trouble deciphering them now. " _Come on! I swear it isn't burnt… the smoke smell is something else!_ " Ethan smiled to himself. Whatever Cal had cooked, he'd burnt. He hoped it wasn't toast. The amount of times he had burnt toast was unbelievable - and he must have gotten better, surely. " _I made it especially!_ "

Ethan groaned and rolled out of bed, traipsing and dragging his feet to the kitchen - where two plates of beans-on-slightly-burnt-toast waited on the table. Ethan couldn't help the smile that crossed his face, especially when he saw the toaster covered in a damp tea-towel.

"It didn't set alight, I swear." Ethan looked at him pointedly. "Okay, okay. It started smoking but I stopped it before I got too far. I even turned it off before I stuck a knife in there. See? You can call me Mr Responsibility." He held his arms up and flexed his muscles - the intended effect of making Ethan laugh, working.

"It was my turn to cook," Ethan mentioned.

"You're welcome, Nibbles," Cal said sarcastically. "Now, come on. Eat."

* * *

After sitting in silence and eating, they both finally finished.

"Thank you, Caleb. I do love the taste of charcoal," Ethan smirked, making Cal laugh. "No, but really. Thanks. It was nice."

Cal nodded his head, "you are very welcome, little brother. So… one favour deserves another -"

"- blackmail now?" he joked.

"Tell me what you're thinking, Eth." Cal asked seriously, leaning towards his brother. Ethan's brow creased as he tried to formulate an answer. "I know something's up. Look, is this to do with a certain ex-girlfriend?"

There were a thousand answers on the tip of his tongue, but Ethan knew which one was the right one to say. The truth. And Cal would believe him, because Cal was his brother. "Blake hit Honey."

Cal laughed, but it didn't sound as if it was a response to something funny. "You have got to be joking." Ethan cautiously shook his head. "You're not? Really? What the hell, Ethan?"

"She has a cut on her face… surely you must have seen it?" he asked doubtfully.

"Yes, I did."

 _This was it_ , Ethan thought,  _this is the part where he agrees with me and we get Honey away from Blake._

"And I asked her about it, and she told me she walked into an open cupboard."

Ethan slumped back on his chair. "Did you believe her?" he asked weakly, already knowing the answer.

"There was no reason not to!"

"But… but…"

"No, Ethan. You can't say that about Blake. And have you noticed how it's a cut and not a bruise? If Honey was black and blue I might believe you. But she has a tiny scratch on her face from walking into a cupboard!"

He searched his mind for a reasonable explanation. "The cut could have been from a ring or something…"

"He doesn't wear any rings," Cal pointed out, and Ethan realised he was right.

"Well, then it's from something else!"

Cal sighed and stood up, pacing. "Oh, for goodness sake, Ethan. I know you don't like the guy -"

"- that's an understatement." Ethan butted it, standing up too.

"Ethan. I know you don't like him, but that's hardly an excuse to accuse him of  _abuse_!"

"Come on, Cal. You've seen how she is with him," Ethan tried. He had to get Cal to believe him. To believe the  _truth_.

"Yes, I have. She is happy, and in-love, and she looks at him like he means the world to her."

Ethan knew this was right, he had noticed it all-too-well and it made him sick. "Well… well… of course she does. She doesn't want to… to… arouse suspicion."

"Stop being so stupid, Nibbles! It is so obvious that you are looking for anything to break them apart. Even to go as far as making up that he is  _hitting_ her."

Ethan took some deep breaths, calming himself down. "I thought I could count on you to believe me."

"There is nothing to believe because nothing is happening. You are  _so_  wrapped up in trying to get Blake away from  _you_ that you've convinced yourself that something is happening. Just, try and stay away from both of them. Move on and forget about them. It will be better for all of you."

"He told me to stay away from her!"

"Yes, and if I were him and you were accusing me of abuse, I would too. You have to start living in the real world, Ethan. They  _love_ each other and you have no chance of getting Honey back. No chance whatsoever."

That hurt. "You're my brother. You're meant to believe me!"

"I am your brother, Ethan. That is why I am telling you this. If you don't stop this now, it'll get worse and you'll end up hurting Honey yourself," Cal spoke with exaggerated patience, and it was obvious to Ethan that he was reaching the end of his tether with him.

"I wouldn't hurt her."

"Maybe not intentionally, but doing this, making-up stuff like this.… it  _will_  hurt her."

Ethan wouldn't hurt her. He wouldn't. Intentionally or unintentionally. "I'm not Blake," he sneered.

"No, you're not. Which means you're not Honey's boyfriend. Which means you should just back away from her and let her go. You shouldn't be trying to ruin her new relationship because you're bitter."

"Cal…" Ethan tried.

"Don't. Just… just don't."

"I thought I could count on you!" he shouted. "I thought I could count on my  _brother_. Turns out I was wrong."

Now it was Cal's turn to look hurt, but Ethan didn't care. Cal didn't believe the truth, and if he couldn't help Honey - Ethan would. "I… I hate you, Caleb. I  _despise_  you."

"Come on, Eth. You don't mean that! I'm trying to help you!"

"I do mean it. And I will not take it back. Ever." He grabbed his keys from the coffee table. "I'm going out."

" _Eth!_ " He heard his brother call.

Ethan slammed the door shut behind him.

* * *

Ethan glanced up at the house from the inside of his car. It was Mac's and Noel's house, and he knew Honey was staying there. The odds were that Blake was in there too.

All Ethan had to do was march up there and get Blake to admit it. He would tell Noel and save Honey. Make sure she wouldn't get hurt further.

He was about to get out his car when the light turned on in one of the upstairs rooms. He couldn't help but look towards the window. He could see Blake and Honey kissing passionately, before Blake pulled away and pulled the blind shut. From the small view Ethan had of them, and for the short amount of time he saw them, she looked happy.

She looked ecstatic.

In a split-second decision, he started the ignition and began to drive around (Cal wasn't his favourite person at the moment, so going home straight away wasn't ideal). He had to get evidence. When he had proper evidence he could get rid of Blake once and for all. For now he'd watch from the sidelines. He needed to prove this.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy! Thank you for the review on the last chapter, I really appreciate it. This has dragged on a bit, so I apoligise. It will be ending soon, too. On with Chapter 17.

Since getting home, Ethan had successfully avoided Cal trying to talk to him and asking him where he'd been, escaped to his bedroom without Cal following him, and rang Honey three times. Only, she hadn't been answering and he was now on his fourth attempt.

It rang and rang and rang… and then he heard voicemail. "Honey, it's Ethan. Please pick up. I'm getting worried now." (Which was a complete understatement). "Just call me soon, okay?" And then he hung up. He left it for a minute - like he kept doing - before he rang again. This time (unlike the other four times), it went straight to voice-mail without a dialing tone. Honey must have turned it off…

…unless Blake did.

He left another message, knowing it would be annoying for Honey when she listened to them, but not managing to forget his worry for her, or rid the feeling that lay in his stomach.

There could have been a simple explanation for her rejecting his calls then turning her phone off. She did, after-all, have a boyfriend and was pregnant, but Ethan's brain worked over-time to think of everything Blake could have done.

Or was doing.

While Ethan was sitting at home…

…not protecting her.

A knock on his bedroom door brought him from his thoughts. "No!" he shouted in response, sighing when Cal entered anyway.

"I've heard the messages, Ethan. You have to stop," Cal said, cutting straight to the point.

Ethan shot him a dirty look. "It's rude to eavesdrop, Caleb."

"I'm not the one in the wrong here,  _Nibbles_. I know you care about her, but you have to let go of this," he stated, sitting on the end of Ethan's bed, while the younger of the two turned away. "Come on, Eth. I know it's hard to accept Honey and Blake, but you have to. They are having a baby together, and they are very happy. You will make this man's life  _so hard_  if you keep on looking for things that aren't there."

"If they were 'very happy', why did Honey leave Manchester and leave him? Why would she go out with me if she was happy with  _him_?"

Cal hesitated for a few seconds. "I don't know. But, what I do know is they are happy now -"

"- why can't you believe me, Caleb? How many times have you seen a person acting happy when their partner is abusing them?"

"That's different. We  _know_ Honey."

"It doesn't matter if we know her! I know that Blake hit her, and I will not back down."

"Please let go, Ethan. If this carries on -"

"- get out," he said angrily.

"Eth -"

"- I said go!" Ethan shouted, and Cal stood up and left - slamming the door on his way out and leaving Ethan in silence.

* * *

" _Up and Atom, Nibbles!_ " Cal called through the door, voice so loud Ethan wanted to crawl under the covers and hide. " _Come on! You can't be late for work!_ "

Ethan groaned, knowing that Cal wouldn't give in. He sat up and shouted, "at 'em!"

" _Huh?_ "

"It's  _up and at 'em_ , Cal. As in 'at them'. Not atom," Ethan corrected, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and rubbing some sleep out of his eyes.

He heard Cal chuckle, " _yeah, that makes sense. So up and at 'em!_ "

Ethan sighed as he heard Cal walk away. It was a wonder Cal was even speaking to him after the way he treated him. Saying sorry didn't seem ideal, not when Cal still didn't believe him, but he also knew that Cal wouldn't let it go until Ethan backed down.

* * *

"You're right," Ethan said, breaking the silence that lingered all the way to work.

Cal's forehead creased in what seemed to be confusion. "I'm sorry?"

Ethan didn't want to say it again. It was hard enough lying straight to his brother's face without having to repeat that lie. "I said that you're… right."

There was a moments silence, in which Ethan was expecting Cal to say something. Eventually, he did. "Okay…. Are you going to tell me what I'm right about?

"Oh, yes. The situation with Blake and Honey. You're right about it. I think I'm going to let them be. I was just… jealous. And I know I was wrong to accuse Blake of those things, but I guess I just jumped to conclusions. I just wanted… want Honey back. I know that Blake's a good guy. I'm going to distance myself from them and move on with my life."

"I'm glad, Eth. It takes guts to try and move on," Cal said, smiling as he took the key out of the ignition.

Ethan nodded, before he leaned back on his seat and looked up at the roof of the car. "I miss her, Caleb," he stated truthfully. Probably the only thing he said so far in the conversation that wasn't a lie.

Cal looked at Ethan sadly. "I know. And I know people say working when you feel like this isn't good, but it'll take your mind off of everything."

"Yeah. I hope. Oh, and I'm sorry for what I said yesterday - I didn't mean it. I don't… hate you. Well, not all the time," he laughed.

Cal ruffled his hair affectionately, and Ethan hastily flattened it down again.

"Work awaits," Cal said as he got out of the car.

Ethan knew what he had to do now. He'd successfully made sure Cal would (hopefully) be off his back, and now all he had to do was confront Honey.

* * *

He took a deep breath in: preparing himself for the conversation ahead. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but if Cal didn't believe him, there was no one else to help him. And that meant there was no one else to help Honey. Not even Noel or Big Mac, who  _lived_ with Honey, had anything wrong with Blake.

"Coffee?" Honey asked simply as Ethan stood in front of her.

"Er… yes please." He gave her the money and watched as she made it, noticing no one was behind him and Blake wasn't in sight.  _For once_ , he thought bitterly. "Look, Honey. I need you to be honest with me."

"Sure, what is it?" she asked, tone bordering on eager. Ethan realised her happiness would soon be put down by him, but that wouldn't deter him.

"What happened to your phone last night? I tried calling."

"Oh, right. Yes. I, er, dropped it. And Blake accidentally stepped on it and it broke." Ethan knew she was lying, he just knew. He tried calling multiple times. Maybe Blake stepped on it on purpose.

He braced himself to ask the next question, hoping it wouldn't scare her off. "Are you and Blake… happy?"

Her face dropped noticeably and her hands trembled - spilling some of his coffee as she tried to hand it over to him. She hissed as she put it down and dabbed it dry with a cloth.

"Honey?" he whispered. The feeling that Blake was doing something to her intensified. "Honey, what is it?"

"Nothing," she said, mood seemingly increasing as if nothing had happened.

Ethan felt a hand on his back and he flinched, before the person went around him and went to Honey. Surprise, surprise - Blake turned up. Maybe that was why Honey didn't say anything.

"Hey, Babe," he said endearingly to Honey, and Honey smiled back.

Ethan shook his head slightly and walked away, leaving his coffee by Honey and deciding to talk to her later.

* * *

For Ethan, the later he wanted to have never came. He found himself outside with Blake after he said he wanted a word with Ethan. He decided it was better to try and get along with Blake until he had enough evidence. Even if it meant cursing Blake to the ends of the earth inside his head just to get through the times they were together.

Blake looked happy enough with Ethan, but he couldn't help but feel threatened by the man. He was leading him behind the hospital. Usually, if someone wanted a word, the staffroom or the peace garden would be an ideal place. This was unusual, and considering this was Blake, it was even worse.

Blake finally stopped and spun around, glaring at Ethan through hate-filled eyes. He wasn't speaking, so Ethan decided to.

"Look, Blake. I don't really -"

"- shut it," he whispered angrily.

Ethan stepped back out of shock. "Blake -"

"- are you deaf as well as blind? I said,  _shut it_ ," he sneered, face coming so close to Ethan's that he could feel his breath. "You, taking Honey to secluded corridors and talking in 'private', talking to her when I'm not around, calling her at night… what's your problem?"

Ethan could feel his heart beating though his chest, his lungs expanding and deflating far too fast, but he squared his shoulders. He'd been in worse situations than this, and no matter how terrified he was, he had to face this man. He  _was_ abusing Honey, and he  _was_ going to get what was coming to him. "You. You're my problem. I'm not stupid. I know what you've been doing to her!"

Blake pulled back, grinning. It was an evil grin. A grin Ethan would not want to get on the wrong side of, but probably already had by sticking his nose in.

"Doing to her? What do you mean?" Blake asked innocently.

"Don't play dumb with me," Ethan warned, feeling much less confident than he was putting on, and wishing somebody…  _anybody_  would appear by him to help, or just to see what was going on. Blake was now looking at him like Ethan was prey. Like a hawk, chasing a rabbit. A rabbit that was being backed into a corner…

"Oh, right. You mean this."

Ethan felt a dull pain in his stomach and was instantly winded, the breath knocked out of him. He could already feel a bruise forming from where Blake had punched him. He would have run - or even fought back. But everything happened too quickly. And everything was too painful. It was a blur. He could vaguely register that he'd been knocked to the ground, but all he knew was pain. He tried pushing Blake back, but he was unsuccessful. Blake had the upper hand. He tried curling into himself, trying to protect himself.

It did nothing.

So he imagined being in bed at home. He had to distract himself until it was over. He had to imagine the warmth and comfort he felt from it. The stress-free environment where he could relax. He imagined Cal barging in drunk. He imagined helping him out like a brother should.

The quick bursts of pain stopped after what felt like hours but probably only minutes, or even seconds. The concept of time completely alien to Ethan. Now the pain only lingered.

He could just make out Blake leaning in close to his face and whispering something. "Now you stay out of Honey's way. And mine. Or Honey'll get it. Much worse than this. You hear me? Stay away from us."

Ethan watched, as he walked off, from the ground - in too much pain to think about moving. Tears spiked his eyes as he realised how helpless he was. They started to fall and Ethan started to sob, leaning up against the wall and bringing his knees up to his chest.

He buried his face in his knees and cried.

He'd got evidence. Not the best evidence, but it was his word against Blake's and people would believe him if Honey stood up too. But now he'd got it, he didn't want it. He couldn't tell anyone, he couldn't try and save Honey. If he did, Blake would hurt her. He could even kill her. It would be Ethan's fault.

He continued to cry in pain and despair, knowing he was defeated.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Just going to throw this out there, I was extremely worried about posting the previous chapter considering it's content, but I'm glad none of you hated it, (or at least didn't admit to hating it...)! So thank you for the reviews on the last chapter, they filled me with confidence! Also let's just forget that I said this would be finished by the end of March.

Cal was worried about Ethan. Not just usual brother worry, but full-on concerned.

He'd noticed Ethan hadn't been around the ED for quite some time. Half of his patients were close to breeching and none of his colleagues had seen Ethan for a good hour and a half. Cal knew Ethan was a grown man and could look after himself, but Ethan going missing when he was vulnerable wasn't good.

So he looked everywhere, risking his own patients breeching. Eventually he found his brother curled up against a wall. He was pale and his eyes didn't have the usual glint in them. His glasses were smashed beside him which only made Cal's worry increase.

He was very unwilling to leave Ethan alone when something had obviously happened to him. He'd never seen him like that since they were children. It only ever happened when one of his bullies got physical and beat him up, so what had happened to make Ethan like that when he was a grown man?

Knowing Ethan would want to be able to see, Cal ran back inside to find Max. He pratically fell over Connie and nearly knocked over Max and his mop.

"Master key..." Cal puffed, "for... the lockers. Need... Ethan's spare... glasses." Max didn't question him, obviously detecting something in Cal that meant it was best to keep silent.

Soon enough, Cal had Ethan's spare pair and ran back over to him - barely feeling the stitch in his side.

Ethan hadn't moved from his position and Cal's worry increased dramatically.

* * *

Ethan had his knees drawn up to his chest and his head resting on his knees. He'd run out of tears by now, and he didn't know how long he'd been sitting there. All he knew was he couldn't say anything or Honey would get hurt. He wanted to run to Honey: to tell her not to be scared of Blake. But he'd told Ethan he would hurt Honey. He'd threatened Ethan, and the worst part was that Ethan gave in.

Blake had threatened to hit his own girlfriend. That was completely and utterly wrong but Ethan was too scared to do anything about it.

Cal appeared in front of Ethan, hand on his knee and other hand underneath Ethan's chin - lifting his head. "What's happened, Nibbles?"

Ethan was about to tell Cal everything. But Cal wouldn't believe him. And even if he did believe him, he was bound to do something about it. And that meant Honey would get hurt.

"Nothing." The lie hurt his throat and created an ache in his heart. Almost matching the pain that radiated over his chest and stomach.

"You can talk to me, Nibbles. Okay?"

Ethan felt tears threatening to escape at Cal's kindness. Ethan hadn't been particularly nice to Cal and Cal still wanted to be there for him. One eventually fell, but the amount he'd shed recently meant no more came. Ethan didn't bother to wipe it away, and if he had more tears he would have cried more when Cal lifted his thumb and wiped away the tear that fell.

"Take me home?" he asked meekly after a couple of seconds.

Ethan watched Cal's face. He looked concerned and helpless but nodded. "I'll tell Mrs Beauchamp you're unwell. Here - spare pare of glasses."

* * *

Cal could see Ethan didn't feel up to talking, so he didn't push him to talk. When Ethan wanted to talk Cal only wished he would talk to him. For now the best he could do was drive Ethan home, help his seemingly weak body up the stairs to their flat (that lift still hadn't been fixed after months), and support him to bed. He was going to point out to Ethan that he was still in his scrubs or that Ethan still hadn't put on his glasses, but Ethan was soon crawling into bed and burying himself under the covers.

Cal heard a groan of what seemed like pain but it stopped soon after and Cal sighed. He had to get back to work, but surely he had time to make Ethan a sandwich and get him a drink?

* * *

"I'm heading back to work now, Nibbles. Okay? Call me if you need anything." Cal stared at the lump under the covers. He didn't move or indicate he'd heard him. Cal closed his eyes for a moment, wishing Ethan would just talk to him. "I've left the sandwich on your bedside table along with a cup of tea, Eth."

Cal waited a few more moments but nothing happened. He let his shoulders slump and he walked out of Ethan's room. He grabbed his keys and made his way to the door. Before he was about to leave, he heard footsteps. A moment later the bathroom door slammed shut and Cal could hear his little brother being sick.

He wanted to run back to Ethan but Ethan would push him away. He wouldn't talk or communicate by any means, so Cal did what Ethan wanted. No matter how much it pained him, Cal left the flat and went back to work.

* * *

"Come  _on_ , Ethan!" Cal shouted through the bedroom door. He'd come home from work and discovered Ethan under the covers. Tea cold and undrunk. Sandwich untouched. Cal decided to let Ethan know he was home and then rested his hand on Ethan's shoulder for a couple of seconds. He then went to the kitchen to start cooking, hoping it would rouse Ethan. "Right. If you don't come out in the next five seconds, I am coming in and dragging you out of that bed."

If a soft approach didn't work, maybe this would.

"5," Cal started. He heard no movement. "4." He put his ear against the door. "3." He listened intently, but heard nothing. "2." Cal sighed. This was so unlike Ethan. "1. I'm coming in, Nibbles. You better be out of that bed." Cal slowly opened the door to see a figure underneath the bed covers.

"Go away," said a muffled voice. Cal felt relief at hearing Ethan talk, but it wasn't enough.

Cal sighed. "Why won't you let me in, Ethan?"

"I... go away," Ethan said again.

Cal sat on the edge of Ethan's bed. "I want to help you, Ethan. I really do. But I can't if you don't let me in."

No reaction.

"I didn't have to look for you earlier. I didn't have to risk my own patient's lives by looking for you. I didn't have to convince Connie to let me take you home. I didn't have to make you any food. I didn't have to cover all your patients. But I did. And what for? For you to shy away from the world for whatever reason and ignore me? Please just talk to me."

Nothing.

"Fine. But I won't cover for you if you don't turn up for work tomorrow." Cal stood up and walked over to the door.

There was shuffling and a groan. "Wait," came the small voice of Ethan.

Cal turned back around to see Ethan sitting up. His scrub top was incredibly creased and his hair was messy. His eyes were red and puffy - a clear indication he'd been crying.

"I need you to promise me something."

Cal nodded swiftly, stepping back further into the room, "anything."

"Don't do anything drastic."

Cal was confused, but promised anyway.

He watched as Ethan gripped the hem of his scrub top and closed his eyes. In one quick movement he lifted it up.

Cal didn't believe it at first. Ethan's torso was bruised heavily. They were fresh bruises, meaning they'd probably happened before Cal had found Ethan.

He sat on the side of Ethan's bed again, watching Ethan open his eyes and let go of his top. Cal was speechless for a second, but Ethan's tear-filled eyes brought the power of speech back to him.

"Ethan... who did this to you?"

Ethan was silent, blue eyes shining with tears.

"Who the hell did this to you, Eth?" he asked a little louder.

Ethan looked up at the ceiling and blinked a couple of times. His small voice spoke one name. "Blake."


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, once again, for the lovely reviews! They really made a smile appear on my face!

Cal stared at Ethan for a moment, at first too shocked to even breathe. Ethan was still looking up at the ceiling and tears were dripping down his cheeks in a never-ending stream. He continued staring - aware it was probably making Ethan uncomfortable but still making no move to talk. Thoughts were rushing 'round inside his head; too fast to comprehend. He wanted to take Ethan into his arms but he couldn't move. He was frozen in his position and only able to stare in shock and horror.

At last Ethan moved. Tears were still flowing from his eyes but he looked Cal straight in the eye and his lower lip wobbled. Cal turned away, too scared to see his little brother so hurt and upset and not knowing how to help.  _Don't do anything drastic_. That was what Ethan said. For all the good it would do, Cal wanted to punch the lights out of Blake's pretty little face.

But then the rational part of his brain took over and allowed him to speak. "You provoked him, didn't you?"

Ethan's mouth fell open and the tears stopped. His breathing became faster and anger seemed to take him over. He first pushed Cal, and the older brother was surprised at Ethan's strength. Then he pushed him again and Cal nearly fell off the bed. Instead he stood up. Ethan stood up too and pushed him a third time, before grabbing a pillow from his bed and throwing it at Cal. "Alright, I get the message. And don't worry. I'm gone." He threw the pillow back at Ethan and stormed out, slamming the door shut behind him.

"And don't come back!" he heard Ethan scream, before there was a thump (probably Ethan's shins hitting the floor) and sobbing. Cal gulped, unsure of whether Ethan's reaction was because Cal was right and Ethan didn't want to admit it, or because Cal was wrong and Ethan felt betrayed by his brother. He hoped it was the former. At least that way, he wouldn't feel so guilty.

Selfish. He was thinking about himself again. Like he always did. But his brother was distraught and he was beaten up. At the least Cal had to play the part of a doctor and check Ethan out, but he had to make it up to Ethan. Whatever Ethan did or didn't do they had to sort it out together.

He cautiously opened the door again to see Ethan on his knees on the floor, sobbing into his hands. "Eth…?"

Ethan's head shot up, and the menace in his eyes was pure and clear. "Get out!" he shouted, his head flopping back down into his hands. "Just go."

"I'm sorry… I won't ask you how it happened," Cal promised, but Ethan stood up and pushed him again. "I won't Ethan. Just… let me see to your bruises and then we'll have a civil conversation once you've calmed down." He knew not to step towards Ethan, he was angry enough - so he stayed a safe distance away. Thankfully Ethan didn't step towards him either.

"Get out," he muttered, tears still streaming down his cheeks.

Cal stayed put. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

"But you did! You did and I knew you wouldn't believe me!"

Cal didn't think that was true. If Ethan didn't think Cal would believe him, he wouldn't have shown him what had happened. He wouldn't have given Blake's name. But maybe Ethan didn't think he'd believe him. Maybe he was holding onto a glimmer of hope that he would believe him, even though all the experience had pointed to Cal not believing him. "I do believe you, Eth. I just…"

"Yes? You just  _what_?"

Cal took a deep breath and stepped closer to Ethan. "Tell me the truth, Ethan. Did you provoke him?"

"I'm not even going to answer that! What? You think I'd go up to him and say ' _Hi Blake. Want to beat me to the ground until I'm almost unconscious? Yeah, do that_ '?"

"Well, obviously not. That would be stupid -"

"- that's because it is stupid!"

Cal sighed. He wanted to shake Ethan out of all the anger and hurt and get some sense out of him. He was about to speak when Ethan wiped his hands angrily over his eyes and nose and glared at Cal.

"Fine. You want to know what happened? Will that make you trust me? Okay then, I'll tell you. I  _was_ going to leave Blake alone. Okay? But then guess what? He said he wanted to talk to me outside. So guess what? It was his fault! Oh yes, I tried to talk to him, but what did he do? Interrupted me at every corner. So naturally I confronted him. And you want to know what he did? He punched me. Then he kicked me to the ground, but oh no. He didn't stop there. He did it over and over and  _over_ again. He practically admitted to doing the same thing to Honey. But you know the worse thing? I can do nothing about it! He threatened me! If I told anyone then Honey would get worse than that. So no, I wouldn't say I provoked him. I would say he wanted to do that. He wanted to punch and kick me to the ground and didn't stop. Do you even realise how scared I was?! No, of course you don't - because you couldn't care. All you care about is trying to like Blake. All you care about is proving your own brother wrong. You didn't even take me seriously at first when I brought this up from the start. You're meant to believe me! You're my brother!"

Cal stood there, staring at his brother. He didn't know what to do. Ethan had given him everything in such a short space of time that his brain was still catching up with his ears. He didn't even stop Ethan walking past him. He was only aware of it when he heard the front door shut.

He understood now why Ethan told him not to do anything drastic. His heart hurt because Ethan assumed he would believe him straight away, and he told him not to do anything drastic. But also if he did do something drastic, Honey would get hurt. But did that mean she was already getting hurt? Blake seemed like a good and caring person, but his attack on Ethan (and Cal wasn't going to not believe Ethan now) made Cal see him in a whole new light. He supposed it would explain why Honey didn't know Blake was coming to Holby - Ethan had described it as a surprise meeting between them, with Honey not knowing he was bin Holby.

It would also explain the cut on her face, but he was inclined to agree with Honey's explanation for it.

But why would she tell Blake about the baby in the first place?

Cal guessed that was because she was Honey. She would want the father of her baby in the picture. After all, she only met Noel when she was in her twenties. But if Blake hurt her, would she want someone like that in her and her baby's life?

He knew he couldn't do anything. He couldn't risk anything happening to Honey or the baby - but if he got to Blake before he got to Honey it could be alright.

But he couldn't take the chance.

But he couldn't do nothing.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this will hopefully be finished before the end of June, I can almost guarantee it (forgetting my track record of these things)! Thank you for your reviews on the previous chapter, too!

Cal looked around without purpose, almost searching for an answer. It was as if half of his brain was telling him to drive to Noel's house and beat the crap out of Blake, but he also wanted to go after his brother. The problem with option one was the threat Blake made to Ethan about Honey, and the problem with option two was he didn't know where Ethan was…

Actually that wasn't strictly true. There was one place where Ethan could possibly be… but it was a question of whether to go to his brother or stop an abuser who had threatened to hurt, or even kill, his girlfriend. And that meant causing harm to a baby too. Two lives at stake.

The obvious choice would be the latter but Cal had Honey's safety to consider. Cal had to get to Honey first and then stop Blake, but it was the end of the day and Honey was off shift, which meant she would more than likely be with Blake. And despite the overwhelming urge to storm to Noel's house and kill Blake, Honey's safety was a priority.

Of course, he could ring the police, but he knew Blake was a smart guy. He probably watched for the police, and if he saw them it could be the end for Honey. Although it was only speculation at this point at how far Blake could go to protect himself, Cal had to take every option into account. Nothing could go wrong.

There were too many risks involved with every plan his stupid brain came up with. The only option that remained was to wait until tomorrow. Cal was at work the same time as Honey (thank goodness), so if he found a moment when she was alone, he would take it and help her. It meant he had to live with the knowledge of what was going on for a night, and feel incredibly guilty about the whole situation. But if it meant coming up with an almost fool-proof plan and stopping the abuse for good, then Cal would just have to grit his teeth and bear it.

And with his thoughts sorted into some sort of order, and aiding Honey forming into a plan, he knew his next priority was his little brother.

* * *

Cal had a feeling when he left the house that getting to his brother wouldn't be an easy task. He had a good idea of where Ethan might have been, but it was at the other side of town, it was a Friday evening, and Cal was in a rush. And whenever Cal was in a rush, all the traffic lights seem to conspire against him.

And as soon as he hit the first set of traffic lights just as they were turning red, he knew it would be the first of many.

He tried to go over all the things he would say to Ethan. He sometimes recited them out loud to get a feel for them, and sometimes in his head - imagining Ethan responding. He knew that in the state Ethan was in, it would be hard convincing him to be on the same planet as him, let alone talk to him, but he cared about Ethan, and that meant he would go to Mars and back if it meant Ethan could forgive him.

Ethan was his brother and he wouldn't give up on family.

* * *

"I thought I'd find you here," Cal mentioned as he knelt down beside his brother and looked in the same direction of Ethan's gaze. He hoped to get a nod at most, knowing Ethan was probably still fuming. After a moment of no reaction, he whispered, "I do believe you, you know."

As if it would make any difference.

Ethan said nothing, he just shuffled away from his brother. Putting a little more distance between them.

Cal made no move to close the distance between them, realising that he had to wait for Ethan to feel comfortable talking to him or being next to him. But Caleb Knight didn't give up that easily. "I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions. I genuinely thought… well, I didn't know what to think. I was extremely confused about it, and you know me. I'm impulsive and reckless and I don't think before I speak. I hope you understand that I am sorry, and if there's anything I can do to make it up to you, I will."

Ethan stayed resolutely silent but shuffled over a bit more - putting even more space between them. He was unable to contain the groan that passed between his lips and he reflexively put a hand to his lower chest. He caught Cal's piercing gaze and let his hand drop.

"Are you in pain?... Come on, Ethan. You have to talk to me." Cal waited a few seconds. "Despite what you may think, I do care about you and I do believe you. I just found it hard to understand why Blake would do this considering I found him to be a good person. And yes, I probably shouldn't have been so quick to disagree with you when this first started, but work with me here, Ethan. She'd just broken your heart. I thought you were looking for something that doesn't exist. So I, admittedly, jumped to the wrong conclusion and thought you'd provoked him. I was wrong, and I'm sorry. I can see now that you were telling the truth all along, and now I'm telling the truth. We will help Honey. We will find a way to help her and we can do it together. You do believe me, right?"

Ethan looked straight ahead of him, his words as cold as ice. "Like you believed me?"

"Ethan…" Cal said, trailing off at the end. He had no more words to give so he sat by Ethan in silence. Waiting for the inevitable moment that Ethan would say something.

He didn't have to wait long. "I'm sorry too, Cal." His voice cracked. Ethan coughed and started speaking again, still not looking at Cal. "I just couldn't let it happen. Not again. I couldn't watch it and not to anything. It brought back so much for me and I found it so hard. I had this gut instinct. I tried not to compare it to this and I blocked it out almost successfully... but then things changed and I told you. I understand why you didn't believe me. I was starting to doubt myself... but then I remembered Mum again and I knew there was nothing to doubt."

Cal smiled sadly at his brother and looked towards their mother's gravestone. "I thought this might have had something to do with it."

Ethan shook his head, "I know it's stupid. I'm 28 and I'm still thinking about it -"

"- it's not stupid, Ethan. I still think about it and I'm older than you. I just prefer not to think about it because it worked out in the end, just like it will for Honey," he said reassuringly, knowing it had no effect.

"I wish Honey was as strong as Mum."

"She is. She just needs a little help in realising it. You forget, Mum had you. She had her little boy by her side. And even though I was gone by then, she drew strength from you and now look. Dad's gone for good. And who has Honey got, Ethan?"

Ethan looked at Cal finally. "Noel and Mac."

"And?"

Ethan shrugged.

"Ethan, she has you. She has me and the rest of her friends at the ED. If Mum's strong enough with only her son, imagine Honey's strength with the ED behind her."

"You make it sound easy, Caleb."

Cal moved closer to Ethan and draped an arm around his shoulders. "I know it isn't. You know much more than me, granted, but we work in a hospital. We see these things. We help people. And we will help Honey, I promise."

"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep," Ethan sighed.

"I don't," Cal said with a smirk.

They sat there for a while, looking at their mother and reminiscing. Cal could feel slight tremors start to course through Ethan's body. It was getting cooler and Ethan wasn't wearing as many layers as Cal. "We need to get you home, Nibbles. Wouldn't want you freezing to death, would we?"

Cal stood up, feeling some of the warmth leave his body. He offered a hand to Ethan, which he gratefully took, and they headed back to the car.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry for my complete inactivity. It's the Summer Holidays (exams and stuff mean I finish earlier ugh) and until term starts up I am wandering around life without a purpose. It does nothing but hinder my mental health. I am trying to do more than lie around in bed all day and night not doing anything. So I am sorry for my lack of updates and the fact a sequel to 'By Your Bedside' hasn't been published yet. It will be soon; the first chapter is almost complete. And 'Shattered' will be updated as soon as this story is finished (which is very soon).
> 
> I will try and use all this free time to update regularly but I may be too busy lying in bed and not looking after my physical health while I succumb to the torture of my mental health.
> 
> If I'm inactive again just assume I'm not well. I'm not too great now and my writing quality has definitely dropped. This chapter feels a bit fast and choppy but it's the best I can do right now.
> 
> On a slightly better note, thank you ever so much for reviewing last chapter.
> 
> On with the next chapter!

Cal was nervously tapping his fingers against the steering wheel, before bugging Ethan again with the same question he asked mere moments ago. "And you're sure you know the plan?" As an afterthought, he added, "properly, properly sure? Like really sure?"

"Caleb." He sighed in frustration. "Yes, I am sure. Now please do me a favour and stop asking?"

Cal looked at his brother, the slight hint of an apology playing on his features, though not over-riding his obvious panic. "Of course. I just need to know that this will be foolproof. And that includes you knowing it inside out."

"Foolproof? Better keep you away from it then," he joked, the corners of his mouth lifting. It was a slight change, but the situation currently haunting him didn't allow him a lot of relaxation.

Cal leaned back in fake surprise and anger, before smiling broadly.

Ethan looked at the clock in the car. "We're going to be late if we sit in here for much longer," he said, opening the door and climbing out. As soon as he did, he felt a sharp pain rip through his left side. A groan escaped his lips, unfortunately alerting Cal he was in pain.

"Ethan?" Cal called in alarm, rushing to get out of the car himself. "You okay, mate?"

Ethan stood up straight and tried not to wince. He didn't manage it, and it made his coming sentence even more fake. "Of course I am. You said it yourself last night. No serious damage done."

"I can write you a prescription for some painkillers? That panadol doesn't seem to be helping," he suggested.

"It's fine. It'll just take a while to kick in."

"But if it doesn't kick in -"

"- yes, I'll tell you. Now come on," Ethan urged.

They walked through the doors of the ED, minds set on what they had to do, but also on the fact they had to work as well.

"I trust you are well enough to work now, Dr Hardy."

Ethan successfully stopped himself from showing how startled he was, and by the look on his brother's face, he didn't see Mrs Beauchamp approach them either.

"Yes, Mrs Beauchamp," he answered, knowing that Cal had told her that Ethan was unwell the day before.

"In what way were you unwell, Dr Hardy? Your brother failed to mention the actual ailment in his excu- I mean reason." She smiled.

"Well, I was…." He coughed. "I had a headache."

"A headache, you say. Well I'm glad you're feeling better then, Dr Hardy. Though next time, better come to me yourself. I may believe you more. After all, I know you. And I know that you can't lie to save your skin," she smirked. "You better get changed. The pair of you."

Ethan and Cal looked towards each other as Mrs Beauchamp walked off, and went to get changed - ready to start work.

* * *

"How's it going?" Ethan asked as he walked to get another patient to treat.

"He never leaves her side. He's only left twice, and I timed it. It's only about a minute and a half both times." Cal turned his head back towards the shop while still pretending to look through some notes.

"He will eventually," Ethan reassured Cal, even though he didn't believe it himself. He'd glanced over many times recently, and Blake always seemed to be by Honey. Almost like a loyal dog.

"Dr Knight, my office please," Connie's voice said, before the clicking of heels signaled her departure.

"How does she do that?!" Cal exclaimed, holding a hand to his chest where his heart was.

Ethan chuckled.

Cal groaned, "what does she even want?"

"I don't know," Ethan replied, calling his patient's name right afterwards.

"It was a rhetorical question," he said, voice indicating he was getting a little annoyed. Though Ethan guessed it wasn't at him, but because of Blake. "See you later… if I make it out alive."

* * *

Cal sighed. "I have!"

"Dr Knight, do not use that tone with me. You clearly have not done anything."

"Daniel Ahmed?" Cal said.

"One patient. You have treated one patient. And he was a child with a graze on his knee."

"It could have been infected…" Cal tried.

"Get out of my office and get back to doing your job," she said harsly, looking down at some peices of paper on her desk.

Cal knew a reprimand when he heard one, and didn't want to get on the wrong side of Connie. He'd done it enough times to be scared out of doing it again. (Not that he'd admit it to anyone).

He sulkily left the office and was met with his little brother.

"So?" Ethan asked, a worried look on his face.

Cal let his shoulders slump in defeat. "The plan's off, Ethan. We can't do it. I have to get back to work."

"That's kind of why you're in the ED…?" Ethan smiled.

"Yes, well, I may have been distracted slightly."

"Caleb," he sighed, doing the 'Ethan' look. The 'I'm Disappointed in you' look.

"We'll think of something else tonight, Eth. Come on, let's do our job. It might help us take out mind of things at the very least."

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reviewing! So this is the final chapter, literally posted one year after this story was published here. I didn't plan that! This was meant to be finished ages ago, but oh well!
> 
> I will repeat what I said about the previous chapter. It feels too fast and choppy to me and I'm sorry. It's the best I can do right now.

"This is so ridiculous," Cal moned, as he and Ethan were getting changed. "Why did she have to keep me in resus anyway?"

"You know the reason, Caleb. She wanted to make sure you were working," Ethan grinned, taking a little pleasure in what Mrs Beauchamp did to Cal.

"She even checked up on me in my breaks!" he said, raising his voice. Though he quickly silenced, remembering they were in the staffroom.

"If I was her, I'd do the same," Ethan said, earning an eye-roll from Cal.

"Oh shush," Cal said, and Ethan chuckled.

As they left the staffroom, almost on instinct, Ethan glanced over at the shop. He grabbed Cal's sleeve, catching his attention instantly. "He's not there."

Cal looked too. "He'll come back soon."

"Cal, she's shutting the shop now. If we're fast, we can talk to her before he comes back. We'll have some time if we go outside, he'll expect she has gone."

"Forget it, Ethan."

"No," Ethan said, metaphorically putting his foot down. (He was often told by Cal that physically doing it made him look a tad odd). "I have stood by long enough. If you're out, fine. But I'm not." He started walking away from Cal, only to feel a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head.

"I have too. We do this together from now on."

Ethan smirked.

"I know. Cheesy. Now come on."

They walked as quickly as they could without it seeming suspicious, and practically appeared in front of Honey.

"What do you guys want?" she asked, finishing closing up the shop.

"Just to talk," Cal said innocently.

"Be quick about it, then."

Ethan looked at Cal, both knew this wouldn't be easy. But it was necessary. "But talk outside."

Honey hesitated and looked around. Cal could kick himself for how he never noticed anything before. "I have to be quick; Blake will be back soon. We're going out for dinner." She smiled.

"Yes, we'll be quick," Cal told her, before leading her outside. Ehan trailed behind.

"So what is it you want?" Honey asked, while Cal and Ethan stood by their car.

Ethan waited for Cal to speak, but all Cal did was look at Ethan. Honey's brow creased in confusion as the brother's kept looking at each other but not speaking.

What could they even start with?

"Honey!" came a voice from the ED entrance. Blake ran over to them. "I thought we were going out for dinner?"

"We are, they just wanted to talk to me quickly," she said, motioning to Cal and Ethan.

"Alright then," he said. Ethan stupidly expexted Blake to leave, but he stayed right where he was.

"In private, if you don't mind," Cal said, a hint of anger in his voice.

"There are no secrets between Honey and me, are there, Honey?"

Honey didn't answer for a moment, before, "no."

"Well  _we_  want talk to her in private, so if you wouldn't mind," Cal suggested, stepping towards Blake.

Before Blake could answer, some of their colleagues walked past them.

"You lot coming to the pub?" Mac called.

"Honey and I are going out for dinner, actually," Blake said proudly.

Then Cal saw his chance. There were more people, it was a lot easier now to face up to Blake.

"No. You aren't," he said confidently.

"Excuse me?"

"You will not go near Honey ever again."

Honey stepped forward. "Cal?" she asked cautiously. "What are you doing?"

Cal didn't answer her. Blake stepped towards him, and Cal noticed some of their colleagues stood there, watching worridly.

"You can't tell me what to do," he told Cal, narrowing his eyes.

Cal squared up to him. "What are you going to do? Hit me? Go ahead, hit me like you hit my brother. Sorry...  _beat_  my brother."

Honey gasped and looked towards Ethan. "Is this true?" she asked quietly.

For the first time in a while, Ethan found the courage to speak. "Yeah. And he threatened me." Slowly, he lifted up his shirt. Honey looked so upset.

"Honey? Darling, what's going on?" Noel asked, stepping from the group.

Ethan nodded, encouraging Honey to speak out. "Keep him away from me, Dad." She rolled up her sleeve, revealing prominent finger mark bruises, clear even under the night sky.

"No!" Blake shouted, about to run towards Honey. He didn't realise it until it was too late - Mac had come up behind him. He was restrained, and Noel was calling the police.

"No, please! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! Please, I'm sorry!" he cried, struggling against Mac.

Cal walked right up to him. "I pity you," he said truthfully. "It's over, Blake. It's done."

* * *

"You okay now?" Ethan asked as he walked into Honey's cubicle.

"Yeah, I'm fine. He didn't do anything serious to me," she brushed off. "You okay?"

"Yeah."

There was some silence for a while, before Honey broke it. "After the trial, I'm moving back to Manchester. My dad's coming with me. I can't stay here, Ethan. I'm sorry." She smiled sadly.

"You have to do what's best for you. And that's alright."

* * *

"Thank you for today, Cal," Ethan said gratefully while they were sat in the staffroom.

"There's no need to thank me, Eth. I'm your brother. It's what I do. But I wouldn't have been able to do it without you. And without our colleagues. Everything fell into the right place eventually."

Ethan smiled. "Fate."

"I'm sorry?" Cal asked, confused.

"It could have been fate. Everything happens for a reason and that stuff," Ethan said.

"Okay, Ethan. And what's fate doing or saying now?" Cal said, not expecting an answer, but liking the one he received.

"That we need to go home and you can make your special beans on toast."

Ethan and Cal smiled at each other.

"Sounds good, little bro. Sounds good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to sweeet-as-honey, Tanith Panic, Gillian Kearney Fan, Tato Potato, TheAtomicCheesepuff, CBloom2, TimeLadyOdair, Is-there-somewhere-x, Torchwood Cardiff, Becs2202, Paradoxilla, LittleBritishPerson, Becca (Guest), charlibear13, beckyboogle, EDSideKick, Dannii (Guest), fiveby10eighty3, and Agirlwithagreatpotentialfor your support via reviews, and to everyone who favourited and followed. It really does mean a lot.
> 
> 'Till next time! ETWentHome x


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